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some people says that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together

#people #music #cultures #ages
some communities belives that
music
 promotes in bringing people of diverse origin and ages together. I
competely
Correct your spelling
completely
 agree with
this
, in the forthcoming paragraph
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elucidate my opinion with the help of a few examples As the saying goes,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
 got healing power.
Music
 is used for relaxing age across age groups and cultures.
Music
 creates a healthy environment which is conducive for any relationship to grow or for children,
music
 promotes in creating a harmony called
dopomine
Correct your spelling
dopamine
 in our body which is responsible for our happy mood,
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 as per
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 conducted
my
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 Indian Medical association
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 who gown in musical
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 are more creative and amicable.
Music
 has been instrumental in reversing mental depression and
shown
Add a missing verb
has shown
show examples
 positive results in the recovery of a terminal illness.
For example
, many doctors
plays
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play
show examples
music
 during complex surgery and state it helps them to focus and relieve the stress
on the other hand
 people who meditate with
music
 has reported that
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
 helps them to focus and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
feel
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 and calm during the day.
Music
 has been used in ancient times for leisure and relationship building, in old times secretive
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 has been conveyed through
music
. In war times for each ,action there were different forms of
music
, with
music
 people used to understand the
next
 action
move
Correct your spelling
movie
show examples
. To recapitulate,
music
 has been a blessing to mankind and there are many
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 of
music
 across gender, age and nationality.
Submitted by durgawork2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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