People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get the news of fashion and the latest technology. Do The disadvantages of a throwaway society outweigh The economic advantages?

#people #news #fashion #technology #society

It is

irrefutablet

Correct your spelling

irrefutable

that consumerism is increasing these days due to

fast paced

Add a hyphen

fast-paced

show examples

modifications done in the products,

such

as domestic, clothing and electronic gadgets. In

this

essay, I will discuss both pros and cons of

this

attitude,

however

in my opinion there are more drawbacks to consider as it has

Change the article

show examples

impact on our environment and

life

. Looking at the positive side, due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumerism, the mass production of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

goods is increasing which is causing more employment for the citizens and

this

would be a major factor for the decline in poverty. And

also

more options for the consumers. Take cellphones as an example,

first

Add a comma

,first

show examples

there was only

small

Correct article usage

a small

show examples

nokia

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Nokia

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

now there is a variety

such

samsung

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Samsung

show examples

and apple.

This

all is

genrating

Correct your spelling

generating

a revenue for the nation which would be responsible for the development of the nation.

However

, disadvantages are more detrimental and should be taken into account, which includes the waste collection and imbalance between personal and professional

life

This

use-and-throw culture is the main factor for the garbage since it can not be recycled. the whole waste is just dumped into landfills or the sea and

this

would be the way for water pollution especially affecting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

marine

life

Thus

, disturbing the ecosystem. Another negative development to consider is the desire of people to

acheive

Correct your spelling

achieve

everything as people are becoming materialistic. In order to

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their desires they are becoming

workaholic

Fix the agreement mistake

workaholics

show examples

this

not only affects their health but

also

their personal

life

. In conclusion, despite the advantages

such

as revenue and employment, the downside is more deleterious as it affects the

life

of an individual as well as the environment.

Submitted by riyaterna on Fri Oct 22 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get the news of fashion and the latest technology. Do The disadvantages of a throwaway society outweigh The economic advantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

To get a good job today it is more important for children to study mathematics and foreign languages than art and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment opportunities. Do you agree or disagree

Many people find it difficult to give a speech or presentation in public. Some people suggest that schools should teach children to speak in public. How important is it to speak in public? Do you agree or disagree that they should teach it at school?