These days the fashion in clothing are constantly changing. Is this affecting Individuals and the environment in a positive or a negative way

#fashion #individuals #environment

Technology

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a vital in

differerent

Correct your spelling

different

industries

such

vehicle

Add an article

a vehicle

show examples

. It is more likely that

cars

, trucks and buses will be

driveless

Correct your spelling

driverless

show examples

. While the new generation of

vehicles

have

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has

show examples

got some

disadvantagest

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disadvantages

disadvantage

, I believe that the advantages are far more. On the one hand,

driveless

Correct your spelling

driverless

show examples

cars

have some drawbacks.

Firstly

, sensitive

equipments

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equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

and technology are so expensive, so many poor countries can not

be afford

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afford

show examples

to have

this

technology and

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

generation of transportation would be so pricy.

Secondly

, several programs and courses should be taken into consideration by the government for raising public awareness about how they can use these

vehicles

Finally

, if the

governmet

Correct your spelling

government

want to

investint

Correct your spelling

investing

driveless

Correct your spelling

driverless

show examples

cars

, they will

be think

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be thinking

show examples

about

other line

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another line

other lines

show examples

of businesses for drivers who earn money from driving

cars

, trucks and buses.

On the other hand

, robot drivers are highly beneficial for society. During

last

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the last

show examples

decade,

large

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a large

show examples

amount of the population in the capital cities have been annoyed about heavy traffics in their area which makes them tired. robot drivers improve

this

problem, people can do whatever they want during their travel

such

as reading book and magazine, listening to podcast and checking their timetable.

Furthermore

, driving would be more

jyfull

Correct your spelling

joyful

Moreover

, disabled humans have not had

any

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show examples

opportunity of driving but with

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

generation of

vehicles

Add a comma

,vehicles

show examples

they will be unlocked the dream of driving. Interestingly, with

driveless

Correct your spelling

driverless

show examples

cars

Add a comma

,cars

show examples

the rate of

accident

Fix the agreement mistake

accidents

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

in roads

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inroads

show examples

is projected to decline significantly in the future. To conclude, in the future whole

cars

, trucks and buses will be guided by robots.

Although

it will have some drawbacks, I strongly believe that the benefits of

driveless

Correct your spelling

driverless

show examples

vehicles

are far more.

Submitted by aminpost on Fri Oct 22 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fast fashion
Sustainable fashion
Consumer behavior
Environmental sustainability
Natural resources
Pollution
Social media influences
Self-esteem
Consumerism
Creativity
Diversity
Economic implications
Exploitative labor practices
Ethical consumption
Production practices

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