Some countries are struggling with increases in crime rates. Some believed that having more police on the streets is the best way to reduce and combat crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the past few
decades
Add a comma
,decades
show examples
some countries have had difficulty controlling criminal activities. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some people suggest that an increase
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of defence officers on the roads can reduce the crime rate. I partially agree with
this
because rising
police
means lower crime and
also
need to create public awareness as well.
To begin
with, there are some individuals who strongly believe that only
police
forces can play
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
role
to
Change preposition
in to
show examples
jurisdiction
Add an article
the jurisdiction
show examples
of illegal activities.
For example
, during the high alert situation in Washington DC, the national defence service would
mobilised
Change the verb form
mobilise
show examples
extra
police
officers to
control
the hazardous situation
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
limited time they
control
everything.
Furthermore
, when a nation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
more army force, it will be easier to
control
every
lawbreakers
Change to a singular noun
lawbreaker
show examples
work as well as they can solve the cases on schedule.
For instance
, in Belgium increases policemen and policewomen in order to
control
offensive work.
As a result
, the percentage of wrong deeds are going low day by day.
However
,
on the other hand
, to
control
the movement of delinquents, the government should launch
a
Change the article
an
show examples
awareness campaign in social media and in schools about the dangerous situation as well as the higher officials should offer the people to attain free self-defence workers . It
is
Change the verb form
also has
show examples
also
have
long run
Add a hyphen
long-run
show examples
effects and
also
helps to create
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
environment.
For
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Hence
, in
Correct your spelling
Korea
show examples
Korean
Add a comma
,Korean
show examples
it is mandatory to get defence training
thus
people can protect themselves
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
waiting for
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
.
As a result
, the dependence on security officers is reduced and
also
society fell confident. To conclude, it is undeniable
police
are playing
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
show examples
role to reduce crimes as well as we
also
need to learn how to protect ourselves because all time it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
possible to
got
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
help .
Submitted by mahmuduts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: