The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Development in any sector is taken optimistically.

However

Linking Words

, some believe that purchasing on various online platforms is a threat to the local vendors as it may result in the closure of

market

Add an article

the market

show examples

. But I do not accord with

this

Linking Words

notion

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apply

show examples

and will take both as different aspects. There are many individuals, who do not have any idea about accessing e-commerce applications, due to illiteracy and lack of knowledge. Take labour class as an example, in India,

blue collar

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blue-collar

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job holders

always

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are always

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afraid to access gadgets. They merely want to follow an easy approach,

also

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they are hired on

daily

Correct article usage

a daily

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wages system, which limits their budget somehow.

Moreover

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, shops in locality always provide

fresh

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a fresh

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stock of eatables

such

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as fruits and vegetables.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

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of elderly people do not want to change their routine of going on

Add an article

a walk

show examples

walk

Fix the agreement mistake

walks

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and buying useful products.

This

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outing freshens their mind and

connect

Change the verb form

connects

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them with society, even after their retirement.

On the other hand

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, online purchasing is majorly done by

educated

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the educated

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working class, as they are busy

Change preposition

apply

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earning disposable incomes and have made their work a priority.

For instance

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, after the shift of eight hours and overtime, a person will only find

sometime

Replace the word

some time

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of relaxation

instead

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of going out

for

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apply

show examples

shopping.

Furthermore

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, these websites provide

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

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of benefits including

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

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fashion trends, different ways to pay and doorstep delivery. These all services attract youth towards them. To conclude, growth can only lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success rather than

harming

Replace the word

harm

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. It is

also

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true in

case

Correct article usage

the case

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of shopping either online or from local ventures. The importance of domestic business on small scale will never fade away, as per my perception.

Submitted by gur.kaur.singh on Fri Oct 22 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

e-commerce
brick-and-mortar
physical stores
online retailers
retail apocalypse
digital economy
consumer behavior
sustainability
commercial landscape
high-street
consumer trends
augmented reality
showrooms
carbon footprint

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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Describe a science subject (Biology, Robotics, etc.) that you are interested in.

In some countries, most people prefer to rent a house rather than buy their houses. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?