The environmental problems that today's world is facing are so great that there is little ordinary people can do to improve the situation. So governments and large organizations should be responsible for reducing the amount of damage being done to the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #people #situation #governments #organizations #amount #damage #environment

It goes without saying that maintaining the environment in a clean and safe condition is quite a challenging task for humanity at present.

Therefore

, I completely agree that governments along with local authorities are designated to combat the level of contamination.

Initially

, it is common knowledge that the legal system plays a crucial role in society where people for the most part are afraid of infringing it.

Consequently

, the government should consider imposing specific penal fines to discourage town dwellers from polluting the surroundings.

Moreover

, not only would it control citizens’ attitudes towards the environment, but

also

could deter corporations from polluting. What is more, if cities are provided with an adequate number of street cleaners and road sweepers, it will certainly support our environment in a well-maintained condition. On top of

this

, diverse environmental protection companies are required to supervise the world’s state in concert with the government.

Thus

, they could take into account the idea of implementing a recycling system to discipline individuals for the sake of our younger generations. Under no circumstances should human beings and their offspring neglect

this

modern-day malaise. In conclusion, I strongly believe that keeping the surroundings’ state of being in an impeccable condition is the obligation of the government and massive organizations, yet humans should be aware of

this

burden not only concerning their own country but

also

regarding the whole planet.

Submitted by aigulziatdinova29 on Fri Oct 22 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

230 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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