IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Given is the graph that illustrates the proportion of residents consuming the recommended daily
amount
Use synonyms
 of
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 in 3 groups that are men,
women
Use synonyms
 and children over a period starting from 2002 to 2010. Overall, it can be deduced from the chart that
women
Use synonyms
 were the group having the most healthy diet in the UK, while children understandably witnessed the lowest percentage eating reasonable
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, all of three kinds of people saw the same fluctuation in
this
Linking Words
 researched figure that reached a peak in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006. As can be seen in the chart,
women
Use synonyms
 had the highest proportion using sufficient healthy food. Specifically, starting at 25% in the
first
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 figure rose to 32% after 4 years and
this
Linking Words
 was
also
Linking Words
 the highest point in the research period.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
year
Use synonyms
 2010 experienced a slight decrease of 5% in the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 eating the recommended
amount
Use synonyms
 of
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 on a daily basis. Looking at the graph in more detail, the
year
Use synonyms
 2006
also
Linking Words
 observed the men group reaching a high at 28% in the proportion using suggested
amount
Use synonyms
 of healthy food after considerable went up from 22% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2002, from which point it saw a minimal drop of 4% for
next
Linking Words
 4 years. Meanwhile, there was 11% of children having enough
amount
Use synonyms
 of
fruit
Use synonyms
 and
vegetables
Use synonyms
 in their meals in 2002, followed by a rocket to 16% after 4 years, before ending at 14% in the final
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by thangnh.37ftu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: