IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Given is the graph that illustrates the proportion of residents consuming the recommended daily
amount
 of
fruit
 and
vegetables
 in 3 groups that are men,
women
 and children over a period starting from 2002 to 2010. Overall, it can be deduced from the chart that
women
 were the group having the most healthy diet in the UK, while children understandably witnessed the lowest percentage eating reasonable
fruit
 and
vegetables
.
In addition
, all of three kinds of people saw the same fluctuation in
this
 researched figure that reached a peak in the
year
 2006. As can be seen in the chart,
women
 had the highest proportion using sufficient healthy food. Specifically, starting at 25% in the
first
year
,
this
 figure rose to 32% after 4 years and
this
 was
also
 the highest point in the research period.
Finally
, the
year
 2010 experienced a slight decrease of 5% in the percentage of
women
 eating the recommended
amount
 of
fruit
 and
vegetables
 on a daily basis. Looking at the graph in more detail, the
year
 2006
also
 observed the men group reaching a high at 28% in the proportion using suggested
amount
 of healthy food after considerable went up from 22% in the
year
 2002, from which point it saw a minimal drop of 4% for
next
 4 years. Meanwhile, there was 11% of children having enough
amount
 of
fruit
 and
vegetables
 in their meals in 2002, followed by a rocket to 16% after 4 years, before ending at 14% in the final
year
.
Submitted by thangnh.37ftu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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