IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Why do you think some people are attracted to dangerous sports or other dangerous activities? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #sports #activities #support
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are attracted to extreme
sports
Use synonyms
 and dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
. The reason seems to lay within the fact that individuals lack
adrenaline
Use synonyms
 in their everyday
life
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic. Historically, it was set that humanity fought for survival for the longest time,
thus
Linking Words
 the
adrenaline
Use synonyms
 hormone was constantly released into the body. The amount of stress ancient human beings had to face and
challenges
Correct article usage
the challenges
show examples
 they had to go through just to be alive can be unimaginable for modern individuals. Yet, the history of the survival of our ancestors
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 left an imprint in our DNA, making
people
Use synonyms
 want to have a splash of
adrenaline
Use synonyms
 into our organisms. Centuries of technological evolution
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 facing minimal or no danger in everyday
life
Use synonyms
, as everything is made for
comfort
Correct article usage
the comfort
show examples
 and safety of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Men hardly have to fight physically with anyone or anything in
order
Use synonyms
 to provide food for the family, and there are many tools that make
life
Use synonyms
 easier. Some tend to believe that
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 lifestyle is dull,
thus
Linking Words
, they start looking for adventures. They play dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 and search for threatening
activities
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to add some
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their lives. American research that was made in 1980 showed that those
people
Use synonyms
 who are involved in dangerous
activities
Use synonyms
 or
sports
Use synonyms
 tend to have closer neuron connections which means that their brains work faster and better compared to those of the ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 who do not engage in any threatening
activities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some individuals might purposely put themselves in stressful situations in
order
Use synonyms
 to get their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 to work more effectively. Overall,
daily
Add an article
the daily
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 of modern
people
Use synonyms
 seems to be safe, though our bodies need a splash of
adrenaline
Use synonyms
 from
time-to-time
Correct your spelling
time to time
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 appear to be attracted to dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
 and
activities
Use synonyms
 in
order
Use synonyms
 to make their
life
Use synonyms
 more interesting and brain work more efficiently.
Submitted by urunova7777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: