IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

There is an increasing trend around the world to have a small family rather than a large family. What are the advantages of having a small family rather than a large family?

#trend #world
In the twenty century, the number of nuclear
families
 outnumbers the number of extended
families
,
as a result
 of the tendency to smaller
families
. Being a member of
this
families
Fix the agreement mistake
family
show examples
 has several positive points that will be discussed in
this
 essay. As far as the merit of the nuclear family is concerned,
this
 goes without saying that, the expenditure of the small family is greatly lower than the large one.
For instance
, the expenses of a five-member family are averagely between $4000 and $6000, per month. In oppose to, a family with three members which their outgoing is half of
this
 amount. What is more, a larger family need bigger accommodation too,
therefore
 a major part of
families
’ salary belongs to rent.
Consequently
, substantial problems
such
 as control of monthly expenditure, debts and mortgages are faced with family. These are reasons for the blooming trend to smaller
families
. The stable upbringing of
children
 is a demanding and time-consuming process. The parent in a large family is busy with household duties. At
this
 rate,
as a result
 of a hectic lifestyle, parents are not able to set a time to spend with their
children
.
Furthermore
, the psychological needs of the child,
for example
, receiving proper attention are not met, and
this
 issue will cause some behavioural problems.
By contrast
, parents in small
families
 have plenty of time to devote to their kids.
For instance
, they can read more books about having an active role in the relationship with the child. To conclude, as an implication of higher expenses in an extended family
also
 the need to spend time to upbringing the normal
children
 (physically and mentally), there is a growing tendency to have one or two
children
. I strongly opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the small family will benefit both,
children
 and family,
also
, will help to have a society which people have normal personality.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Living standards
  • Concentrated resources
  • Parent-child bonding
  • Upbringing
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supportive network
  • Cooperation
  • Multigenerational
  • Cultural traditions
  • Agricultural communities
  • Loneliness
  • Social competencies
  • Financial strain
  • Resource dilution
  • Education opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: