IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #phones #places #libraries #shops #transport
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It is true that people nowadays live in the fast growth of
Modern
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modern
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 technology so that mobile
phones
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 become an essential device at any given time. In my opinion, mobile
phones
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 should not be banned in public places like shops and on public transport. I agree that the
phone
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 should not be used in public places for many reasons.
First
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, in the library, people who join in need the space to study, work and not make a sound from any device, especially a mobile
phone
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 to disturb the task. Because the
phone
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 may cause a noisy sound like a notification alarm, an unplanned call if you forget to unmute it. Only you do not use a
phone
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 in a public place
then
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 the spirit in the library keeps well and works productively.
On the other hand
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, mobile
phones
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 have the aforementioned drawbacks but I believed that the prevalence of
this
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 device will bring about benefits. These days, we choose to use an E-wallet on the application for safety than pay by cash when transactions are all formatted. Because the Covid pandemic is effective in direct communication. The fact that if we go outside or travel to another city, we are encouraged to search for more information or maps on the
phone
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 to avoid getting lost, or
phone
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 to contact the emergency. In conclusion, the availability of mobile
phones
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 may entail drawbacks. I would think we should raise the knowledge of people to use
phones
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 in the limit in lieu of a blanket ban.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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