IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
Some
people
 argued that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should spend more money on public services
instead
 of
space
 projects. In my opinion, I completely agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public service spending is better. There are several reasons why
space
 spending should be stopped.
Firstly
, the costs of
space
 projects are usually expensive, the salary of scientists, facilities and equipment all costs a lot.
Secondly
,
space
 spending is only a way for politicians to
showing
Change the form of the verb
show
show examples
 their power, which is
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 to normal
people
.
Finally
, It would waste money and risk when projects fail.
For example
,
Challenger
Correct article usage
the Challenger
show examples
space
 shuttle broke apart 73 seconds after takeoff, killing all the astronauts on board.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spending on public service could be extremely positive for
people
. By spending on public services, doctors, teachers and police are much cheaper than astronauts. And
also
 public services impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everyone, which benefits
people
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their daily life.It can be a good way to reduce poverty and narrow the gap between rich and poor, which could improve the quality of
people
’s life. In conclusion, I believe that public service spending is better than
space
 spending.
Submitted by wy3262888 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: