IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Art classes, like painting and drawing, are not as important as other subjects, so some people think that it should not be a compulsory subject at high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #subjects #people #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 courses,
such
Linking Words
 as painting and drawing, are not necessary to take in high
school
Use synonyms
, and ought to be removed from the
school
Use synonyms
curriculum
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I think
art
Use synonyms
 classes are essential
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. With regard to the high
school
Use synonyms
curriculum
Use synonyms
, it provides
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subjects which allows
students
Use synonyms
 to acquire different academic knowledge
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and explore
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 potential abilities by themselves. As the place for discovering the future career, the extra
curriculum
Use synonyms
 is more required in the
school
Use synonyms
 campus.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe that making artwork is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective method to express
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal feelings, especially for the younger. With progressing in the stage of puberty,
students
Use synonyms
 need to find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way of expressing their individual thoughts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some of them feel relieved from the
school
Use synonyms
 works and even improve their academic performance better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a direct
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
 between the skills learned from
art
Use synonyms
 lessons and the way of viewing the issues and problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, sketching learners try to observe the specified object in different dimensions, which reflect
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the objective perspectives towards the social issues as well as the personal problems.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 develop their sense of beauty into more distinctive if learning arts consistently. To conclude, taking
art
Use synonyms
 lessons is beneficial to the
students
Use synonyms
 while it is not a compulsory subject in high
school
Use synonyms
, it offers not only the portraying skills but the mental aspects of the knowledge.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 courses should not be removed from the high
school
Use synonyms
curriculum
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wn0978160037 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive Development
  • Cultural Awareness
  • Emotional Expression
  • Career Opportunities
  • Holistic Education
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Critical thinking
  • Intellectual development
  • Emotional development
  • Diverse cultures
  • Historical contexts
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Animation
  • Digital age
  • Well-rounded education
  • Multiple intelligences theory
  • Individual Differences
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Attendance
  • Stress expression
  • Healthy way
  • Relevant career paths
  • Art curriculum
What to do next:
Look at other essays: