Government funding in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must use these funds for public welfare instead

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Whether states should allocate funds for creative fields

such

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as art, music, theatre, and sculpture, has been an issue on which there has been considerable debate. Opponents hold that

such

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funding is a step in the wrong direction

Remove the comma

apply

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and that these funds should be used for public welfare schemes. I personally believe that

Use synonyms

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

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Change the verb form

are

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an inseparable part of human existence and

thus

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, it should be supported in any way possible.

To begin

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with, a society that supports and produces art becomes known for its creativity all over the world.

Such

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countries attract tourists who visit the myriad centres of attraction, contributing to the national economy. In fact, there are multiple secondary industries that depend on tourism and flourish with it. A case in point is the Louvre in Paris, where thousands flock every year to view its artefacts.

This

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influx supports the hotel and restaurant industries as well and helps the overall economy in general. Another example is that of the Taj Mahal in India.

This

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beautiful monument attracts thousands of local and foreign visitors throughout the year.

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, the industries that are related to art generate employment opportunities for millions worldwide.

For instance

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, Mumbai in India has a thriving film industry that supports hundreds of people who work directly or indirectly in movies.

Similarly

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, the forts of the Indian state of Rajasthan draw thousands of visitors from around the globe and

this

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tourism

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tour

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has been a source of livelihood for tourist guides, shopkeepers, hotel owners, taxi drivers etc. for many decades now.

In addition

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, a connection with the

arts

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will give the citizens of a nation a sense of identity and connection to their roots.

This

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helps in a big way to connect people from

diverse

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a diverse

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background

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backgrounds

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within and outside the country. That said

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however

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,however

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, public services always come

first

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for a nation and

thus

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, cannot be neglected in favour of

arts

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However

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, there is always a possibility to develop

arts

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along with public welfare simultaneously. To sum up,

arts

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have benefits that outweigh their demerits and

thus

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should be supported by governments of nations.

mohammadimran2024Sat Oct 23 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

347 words

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Government funding in the arts such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must use these funds for public welfare instead

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problem caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. To what extent do you agree? or disagree?

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Write a letter to a transport office about a problem with the transportation system in your area. •Describe the situation you are facing •Why do you consider it a problem •What change you would like to recommend.

It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games or football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, while others believe the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.