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Band 5

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
The world problem in terms of
growing
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the growing
a growing
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 amount of public suffering from
health
 problems,
as a result
 of eating too much junk
food
Add the comma(s)
,food
show examples
 reached its peak in global discussions. In my opinion, I agree that governments have to increase tax on fast
food
, as it will benefit not only people but societies in total. I will try to prove my point of view in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, I would like to state that bad
food
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 a lot of
health
 issues and it is a scientific fact. Humans can suffer from obesity, heart problems,
diabities
Correct your spelling
diabetes
 and liver diseases.
For example
, more than 60% of
Correct your spelling
population
popullation
Correct article usage
the popullation
show examples
 in the United States of America suffer from
overweight
Add a missing verb
being overweight
show examples
 by consuming unhealthy
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 every day.
Moreover
, their hospital spendings
takes
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take
show examples
 half of their salary and
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
 many uncomfortable treatments. Another point to consider is that all these
health
 problems listed above can lead to
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the rise
a rise
show examples
rise
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rising
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 anxiety levels and suicide rates. It can decrease
popullation
Correct your spelling
population
 and create many other troubles
such
 as lack of teachers, doctors or policemen. Without
them
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,them
show examples
 people will start to suffer more and more.
Finally
,
increasing
Change preposition
by increasing
show examples
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
show examples
 on fast
food
, governments can gain more healthy, smart people who can boom the economy. Countries will save millions of pounds on
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 sector from their budgets and can redirect it to schools or universities. In the long run, communities will greatly benefit from these steps. In conclusion, governments should increase prices for
this
 kind of cuisine to have
healthier
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a healthier
the healthier
show examples
, more mobile and happier nation. In my viewpoint, I believe that
this
 will help us to grow more and enjoy life.
This
 is the key to
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 future.
Submitted by Yaro on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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