Many people Today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life what are the causes of the situation and what kind individuals and employers do to reduce the problem

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers

These days work-

life

balance

such

a difficult issue for

people

this

era due to the fact that the rising cost of living and

also

the atmosphere of competition at the

workplace

However

, we should seek a solution for

this

problem by saving more

money

and making a relaxing vibe at the company.

To begin

with, there are many factors that can affect the

balance

of career

life

and personal

life

. According to the high cost of living,

people

have to earn

money

by working harder and harder, which make them gain more income,

consequently

, The time that will be left for their own or family is running out.

Moreover

, there is

also

a competitive atmosphere in the

workplace

that can ruin their work-

life

balance

, the employers must do their best for the jobs to get the promotion which means the advancement in career

life

Nevertheless

, society needs to get rid of

this

problem by encouraging

people

to save more

money

and spend less on unneeded stuff.

This

attitude would help them to have more time in their personal

life

since they would have enough income for paying the significant bills.

Furthermore

, the employers are

also

the key factor of the solution, they should create a friendly environment in the company

such

as decreasing the gap between boss and employers or between the colleagues, which will make the tension at

workplace

decline, so

people

can have a more relaxing or leisure time with their family or friends. In conclusion, even we find it tough to have a nice

balance

between work

life

and personal

life

due to the cost of living and high competition in the company, our society can release

this

tension by encouraging

people

to save more

money

and create a relaxing atmosphere at the

workplace

Submitted by 180nam.r405 on Mon Oct 25 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people Today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life what are the causes of the situation and what kind individuals and employers do to reduce the problem

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban life better for everyone?

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular almost all age groups however sharing personal information on social media website does have risk do you think that the advantages of social media overweight disadvantages

Write a letter to a bookstore manager who is living in another city. Ask him/ her to make available a book that you are interested in. In you letter. - What book you are looking for? - Why you need this book. - How you plan to purchase the book.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.