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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people Today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life what are the causes of the situation and what kind individuals and employers do to reduce the problem

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers
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These days work-
life
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balance
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 is
such
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 a difficult issue for
people
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 in
this
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 era due to the fact that the rising cost of living and
also
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 the atmosphere of competition at the
workplace
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.
However
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, we should seek a solution for
this
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 problem by saving more
money
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 and making a relaxing vibe at the company.
To begin
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 with, there are many factors that can affect the
balance
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 of career
life
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 and personal
life
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. According to the high cost of living,
people
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 have to earn
money
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 by working harder and harder, which make them gain more income,
consequently
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, The time that will be left for their own or family is running out.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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 a competitive atmosphere in the
workplace
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 that can ruin their work-
life
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balance
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, the employers must do their best for the jobs to get the promotion which means the advancement in career
life
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.
Nevertheless
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, society needs to get rid of
this
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 problem by encouraging
people
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 to save more
money
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 and spend less on unneeded stuff.
This
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 attitude would help them to have more time in their personal
life
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 since they would have enough income for paying the significant bills.
Furthermore
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, the employers are
also
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 the key factor of the solution, they should create a friendly environment in the company
such
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 as decreasing the gap between boss and employers or between the colleagues, which will make the tension at
workplace
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 decline, so
people
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 can have a more relaxing or leisure time with their family or friends. In conclusion, even we find it tough to have a nice
balance
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 between work
life
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 and personal
life
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 due to the cost of living and high competition in the company, our society can release
this
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 tension by encouraging
people
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 to save more
money
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 and create a relaxing atmosphere at the
workplace
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.
Submitted by 180nam.r405 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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