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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to have a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. What extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
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Nowadays, several people might argue that people who keep working in
one
 position constantly will likely
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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be more successful than the ones always changing. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 idea and will outline
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the following essay. On the
one
 hand, the
career
 of workers who spend almost all
life
Correct pronoun usage
their life
show examples
to work
Change the verb form
working
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 for only
one
 firm will be easier to be satisfied. In terms of
career
 prospects, thanks to the enhancement of their productivity and work skills throughout the long-term period, promotion percentages will be absolutely higher than early leavers.
Therefore
, they will have a wide range of opportunities to get well-paid positions in an enterprise, which can help them to release their financial burdens. After all, they will be able to enjoy
career
 life without any nervous or weary thinking.
On the other hand
,
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 who often keep moving from
one
 company to another will be extremely difficult to pursue their goals.
Firstly
, they will have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 chances to be assigned
with
Change preposition
apply
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important tasks, which plays a key role to be promoted.
Although
 they have enough abilities to finish the tasks efficiently, the employers will not trust them who always changes jobs frequently. From that, they will likely feel dissatisfied with their managers or colleagues as a reason for them to change to other places.
Secondly
, they will not be able to broaden their horizons in
such
 a short-term period. According to scientists, employees need at least 6 months to take in everything in their new jobs and 1 year to control all of them skillfully. If they have left their company before that cornerstones, the knowledge which they have gained from might be zero. In conclusion, I think everyone should not change their jobs quickly if they aim to achieve the perfect
career
 path.
Submitted by thanhhai29102000 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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