IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose, because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#people #work #communication #technology #transport #development
Due to the advance of modern technology as well as transportation, humans can
travel
 abroad for living and work efficiently.
This
 tendency brought out several drawbacks;
however
, the benefits overcome the weakness in my opinion. One enormous strength of
this
 trend is that
people
 from around the world can live far from home without hesitation about lacking communication with their beloved ones. In previous years, it was challenging to
travel
 because of long distances together with difficulty in keeping in touch with family members; there were rarely
people
 who enjoyed living far from home.
However
, the development of social platforms
such
 as Facebook or Twitter solved
this
 problem.
Moreover
, it took some hours solely to
travel
 by plane
instead
 of many days by boat in the
last
 decade; there are several employees who can find get a better career prospect in a foreign country.
Besides
, communication technology
also
 enhances society’s knowledge because it provides a better circumstance for many young students to study in abroad universities. More and more parents send their children to learn in a different country since they can connect with the children everywhere and every time. The teachers easily send the crucial information about children’s education to their families too.
Nevertheless
, some disadvantages associated with
this
 movement is that the distance between members could demolish the value of family. With just a click,
people
 can get a video call to their parents, so they don’t feel they have to pay a visit or face to face caring for their elderly, that could lose their close relationship. Because of
this
 issue, many
people
 felt regretful because they hadn’t taken care of their parents when they had been sick. In conclusion, despite some disadvantages still exist, I opine
people
 to
travel
 for a living and working abroad for many advantages.
Submitted by thanhlan.trinh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: