IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

This is a good idea for people to continue working in an old age if it is possible for them do so. Do you agree or disagree?

#idea #people #age
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Being an old age worker is a good idea. If it possible that if those
people
Use synonyms
 could work on retirement’s
time
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
a
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apply
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wonderful for making a good for your free
time
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
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 notion. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 are getting old. Which is the best way they could lead before the end of life. I understand that the elders must spend their
time
Use synonyms
 for the rest. It seems like a special opportunity to get work when being
an
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apply
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old age.
Firstly
Linking Words
, those
people
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 used to have memories with
Add an article
a colleague
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colleague
Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
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 that could
affected
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affect
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 cause make a lot of problems later,
such
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 as they might get
a
Correct article usage
apply
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depression.
Secondly
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, I remembered that my aunt has
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
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 by her experienced
about
Change preposition
of
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this
Linking Words
 retirement’s
time
Use synonyms
. Which is made her admission
at
Change preposition
to
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 the ICU because the depression’s symptom has relapsed. The doctor has diagnosed that she used to work
everyday
Correct your spelling
every day
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 and she had a good friendship. It is a reason; it seems like one of
an
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apply
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addiction. The doctors have explained about
this
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 illness,
Replace the word
most
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mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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people
Use synonyms
 reached
this
Linking Words
 problem because it causes of the familiarity.
Lastly
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, I think that it sounds
like
Change preposition
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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unreasonable but it has
confirmed
Add a missing verb
been confirmed
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 from a doctor’s research. I welcomely to give the commentary that being
an
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apply
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unemployed
it
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apply
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is not easy. As has been noted, I think the life cycle has its rules. Which is you cannot be determined. Working hard all the life, Upon the
time
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 Its suddenly must stop. There must be a problem.
Submitted by pairpph on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive decline
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Social interaction
  • Financial stability
  • Sense of purpose
  • Self-worth
  • Physical health
  • Skill utilization
  • Experience
  • Flexible working hours
  • Generational gap
  • Elderly individuals
  • Retirement
  • Workplace
  • Economic contribution
What to do next:
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