Q. Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

It is argued that using cultural
traditions
as a
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
show examples
attraction will
destroyed
Change the verb form
destroy
show examples
them,whilst some
people
believe that it can be the only choice to keep these
traditions
.
This
essay will discuss both
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
and explain that why
this
method could be beneficial.
First
off,a group of
people
claim that cultural
traditions
should not be used to attract
tourists
.The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
is that they think if
people
from other cultures be aware of their
traditions
,they will be destroyed.
For instance
,there where a group of sun worshiper living in
Northen
Correct your spelling
Northern
Africa that did not allow
people
from other cultures to enter in their tribes.When they were asked about the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
resistance,they said that strangers are cultural threats and if we let them know about our
traditions
,the sun will be destroyed.
On the other hand
,many
people
believe that cultural
traditions
are a kind of tourism attraction.Indeed,their belief is that being aware of cultural
traditions
by
tourists
not only do not destroy them
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
is a good resource
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
making
money
.Surveys prove that the
money
that is
attained from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
in order to
visiting
Change the verb
visit
show examples
cultural
traditions
,will be used to
extended
Change the form of the verb
extend
show examples
the traditional places. personally,I believe that it is a reasonable fact that let cultural
traditions
become known by
tourists
.
In other words
,
tourists
can help the destination's culture to be known by the whole world.
Consequently
,more
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
visiters
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
will come to be familiar with those
traditions
and more
money
will be made.
This
money
can
completely
Add a missing verb
be completely
show examples
used in order to reconstruct cultural places like
mousqes
Correct your spelling
mosques
or
churchs
Correct your spelling
churches
church
. By and large,some tasks could be done to make
people
from the host culture be aware of
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
points of
this
subject.
Besides
,by monitoring and having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
effective management the cultural
traditions
will not be
destroyes
Correct your spelling
destroyed
and can
also
become famous and an admiring pattern to the whole world.
Submitted by hediyehkhodaparast2 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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