More people is moving to the big city to live and work. What are the reasons and results of this trend?

The more the world
developed
Wrong verb form
develops
show examples
and
modernized
Verb problem
modernises
show examples
, the more
people
Use synonyms
prefer moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
for living. There are a plethora of reasons
Linking Words
together
Punctuation problem
, together
show examples
with consequences for
this
Linking Words
tendency
Punctuation problem
tendency,
show examples
that shall be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. One of the major reasons related to
this
Linking Words
is that the career
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
show examples
for young
people
Use synonyms
in the metropolitan
is
Verb problem
areas are
show examples
much higher than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
.
Check wording
areas.
show examples
Because of the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
infrastructure, most companies always locate in the
city
Use synonyms
, so that they tend to employ their staff in the local area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the town
also
Linking Words
accommodates more essential services
such
Linking Words
as medical services
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
higher educational universities. Many families in the countryside spend all their expenditure on their children, hoping that they can get a formal qualification
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
have a wealthy life in the
city
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the students who graduated from popular universities usually refuse to return to their hometown but commence their career path in the
city
Use synonyms
. In Vietnam, most
people
Use synonyms
who succeed will move their whole family from rural to
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
for living.
This
Linking Words
tendency causes many issues.
First,
Linking Words
the increase of population in the urban area is the primary of several problems, namely traffic jams, polluted air and water,
lacking
Wrong verb form
and a lack of
show examples
accommodation and amenities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the community that has worked in agriculture moves to the
city
Use synonyms
, leading to a shortage of food sources.
Lastly
Linking Words
, security has
also
Linking Words
become a problem because the government couldn’t control the population
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
well as provide enough jobs for the immigrants. In conclusion, I believe shifting
people
Use synonyms
from the village to the town raised many benefits
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
life
together with
Linking Words
the challenges. Society and government should have more solutions to reduce the drawbacks and enhance the standard of living.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Use a clear plan at the start. Add a short intro that shows the main ideas you will talk about, and finish with a clear end.
organization
Each paragraph should have one main idea. Start with that idea and then add a simple fact or example.
content
Explain more on each point. Give small facts or real examples to show the trend.
grammar
Check grammar and form. For example, use ‘More people are moving’ and ‘cities’ (not citys).
lexis
Use linking words to tie ideas, like also, but, however, for example.
content
The topic is clear and you talk on why people move and what may happen.
structure
There is a plan with intro, body, and ending.
content
You mention a real country (Vietnam) to show the idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • city
  • people
  • move
  • live
  • work
  • job
  • pay
  • better
  • career
  • services
  • health care
  • schools
  • transport
  • shops
  • culture
  • friends
  • study
  • learn
  • experience
  • family
  • crowd
  • traffic
  • noise
  • pollution
  • cost of living
  • house
  • home
  • rural
  • countryside
  • growth
  • planning
  • policy
  • life
  • opportunity
  • opportunities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: