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Band 6.5

Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development
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The game industry is currently starting to become a gigantic multi-billion dollar industry around the globe as
people
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 love to spend their leisure
time
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 playing those
games
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, and are willing to pay more for their wishlist
games
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. From my perspective, there are two reasons why
people
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 prefer to use their leisure
time
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 on
computer
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games
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.
However
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, it detrimentally impacts
players
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 in physical
health
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 and social connection.
First
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 of all, many
people
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 play PC
games
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 due to convenience and relaxation. Adults work in a highly competitive environment which causes them to get stressed easily, and these
people
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 rarely have
time
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 for other activities, so they choose
computer
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games
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 as it provides convenience. Computers currently are portable and lightweight. They can carry their devices to any place and any
time
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.
Moreover
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, due to the advancement of
computer
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 gaming,
games
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 are developed to have numerous features that match the personal preferences of each person. They can choose more
games
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 that correspond to their personal taste which create joy and relaxation for the
players
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.
On the other hand
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, spending too much
time
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 playing PC
games
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 damages
players
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’ physical
health
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 and social connection in the long term. To clarify, there are no physical exercise and movement when
people
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 spend several hours sitting in front of a screen, so
this
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 leads to symptoms
such
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 as back pain and obesity.
In addition
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, it can
also
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 destroy eyesight blurred vision or pain since they have to expose to blue light for a long period of
time
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.
Furthermore
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, if
players
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 can not balance their virtual and real-life properly, they may become more of an introverted personality unnoticeably, which will loosen or tear down some relationships like friends, colleges or even family. In conclusion, even though playing
computer
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games
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 in their free
time
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 offers convenience and relaxation to its
players
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, it causes
players
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 to be faced with physical
health
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 problems and social behaviour issues.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should manage their
time
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 appropriately to not damage too much on their physical
health
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 and prevent long term social conflict.
Submitted by cocoa18214 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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