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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that having these people to give a talk school students is the best way to tell them about the dangers of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #prison #citizens #talk #school #students #dangers #crime
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Nowadays, there are a lot of people who become law-abiding citizens after a period of rehabilitation in the
prison
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.
Therefore
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, a school of thought holds that these people can speak openly about what they had experienced in order to educate
children
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 at school. From my perspective, I firmly contend with
this
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 statement for many following reasons. There is no denying that ex-prisoners would absolutely have a holistic view on crime so they are people who are suitable to give a talk to
students
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 in secondary or high schools.
To begin
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 with, since they are more experienced of what takes place in the
prison
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, they would be able to share how harsh
in
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apply
show examples
the
prison
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 is.
For instance
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, food is one of the main
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 here, prisoners just can eat bad food.
Secondly
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, their
life
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 stories are considered to be a great source of real-
life
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 experience for
students
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 to avoid committing crimes simply because they had undergone imprisonment.
Hence
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,
students
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 would fear the
prison
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 and they would not fall
in
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into
show examples
 social evil.
However
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, there are many better feasible solutions that can be applied to educate
children
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 to become good citizens.
First
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 of all, the government should consider teaching criminology for
students
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. Pupils would be able to know how to deal with some unexpected circumstances in daily
life
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. Another useful method is to film how
life
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 in the
prison
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 is and it would definitely prevent
children
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 from committing crimes. To be more specific, films with vivid imagery can be much more visually attractive in informing
students
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 of the harsh reality of
life
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 in incarceration. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that there are numerous measures for the governments to take to educate
children
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 and lead to a better community.
Submitted by thienvinh2004 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reformed individuals
  • real-life examples
  • consequences of crime
  • instill fear
  • make better life choices
  • educational programs
  • rehabilitation process
  • relatable role models
  • backgrounds
  • redemption
  • glorifying
  • send the wrong message
  • educators
  • law enforcement
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