Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often believed that sweet

drinks

Use synonyms

should be made less affordable to encourage individuals to intake less

sugar

Use synonyms

. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as I think that consuming a lot of

sugar

Use synonyms

causes health deterioration.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is true that the obesity rate has been rising recently.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because of increased

sugar

Use synonyms

consumption. To illustrate, a notable study conducted by Korea University revealed a strong connection between the rate of

sugar

Use synonyms

intake and obesity. The more people become friendly to sweet

drinks

Use synonyms

, the more they get in danger of obesity.

Moreover

Linking Words

, cheap sugary beverages are

also

Linking Words

disadvantageous to the elderly who are highly sensitive to diabetes as they culminate in prevailed diabetes problem.

Hence

Linking Words

, an effective deterrent to buying sugary

drinks

Use synonyms

is needed.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, sweet

drinks

Use synonyms

should be made more high-priced because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can be a driving force behind stimulating the public to drink fresh water. To be specific, they will choose to consume water which is overly inexpensive compared to sweet beverages as they think water is cost-effective.

For instance

Linking Words

, if a Coke costs a fortune, customers are reluctant to buy it. They may think that consuming other

drinks

Use synonyms

with no

sugar

Use synonyms

contained and low price is the better option as they are not only healthy but

also

Linking Words

cheap.

Thus

Linking Words

, changing the price of sweet beverages is considerable.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I firmly believe that

drinks

Use synonyms

with a lot of

sugar

Use synonyms

should be costly to deter people from consuming them too much.

Therefore

Linking Words

, governments have to impose caps on beverage companies to set their sales price at a higher level.

aahhyu111Wed Apr 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

specific examples

Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea. While your essay does address the main topic, having more specific examples or case studies could strengthen your argument and make your examples more effective.

coherence

Consider varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of linking words to further improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments more compelling.

task response depth

While your overall response to the task is comprehensive, diving deeper into the implications of making sugary drinks more expensive and considering counterarguments could enrich your discussion and provide a more balanced view.

introduction and conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion neatly bookend your essay, clearly stating your stance and summarizing your main points, which is great for readability and coherence.

logical structure

You did well in maintaining a logical structure throughout your essay, ensuring your points follow logically one from the other, which is key for reader understanding.

use of examples

Using real-life examples, like the study from Korea University, adds credibility to your arguments and is a good practice in essay writing.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Sugary drinks, sugar-sweetened beverages, soft drinks
Health consequences, obesity, diabetes, dental health
Government intervention, public health, deterrent
Sin taxes, levies, fiscal policies
Equity, accessibility, low-income communities
Consumer behavior, dietary habits
Education campaigns, public awareness
Beverage industry, economic impact
Paternalism, autonomy, personal choice
Global trends, international policies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter describe the situation explain your problems and why it is difficult to work say what kind of accommodation you would prefer You do NOT need to write any addresses.
The purpose of my writing today is to lodge a complaint about my accommodation in the college hostel. My name is Garima, and I recently joined this college to pursue higher studies. Fortunately, I got a room on the school campus to share with another student. Initially, it was fine to share with another person, but now I am facing a lot of problems related to hygiene, noise and some others.
7.5
band
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans faced in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions
These days, we can see global warming is the main matter having a negative effect on increasing the level of oceans. This essay discusses the problems that are a result of the climbing of sea level and how we can solve this issue.
7.5
band
As a result of global warming, many countries are turning to nuclear power instead of burning fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear power stations? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Global warming has been a crucial problem and people are trying to find another option to deal with the changes and one of them is using nuclear power to replace other energies. The disadvantage of using nuclear energy is the health issues if it leaks whereas the advantage is it sustainable and could be a workaround for another environmental problem. Due to these facts, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
7
band
Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
These days, people are reconsidering the value of web-based education. There are many people who think that web content should not be used to instruct children in recent years, while some people with a more positive view of educational web content strongly disagree with that idea, saying that using web content as education should be used. Personally, I think that we should use that web content to teach children.
6.5
band
There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The positive effects of globalization on society are undeniable. Although it has united individuals in terms of business and national gains, there are still some who oppose the expansion of globalization's influence. I partly agree that these critics can set boundaries for globalization.

Sugary drinks should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans faced in the 21st Century and sea levels are continuing to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this and what are some possible solutions

As a result of global warming, many countries are turning to nuclear power instead of burning fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas. What are the advantages and disadvantages of nuclear power stations? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Q. Some people say that web content should be used to instruct children. Others think that it is not helpful in an educational setting. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?