Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out? What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address the issue?
Nowadays, some citizens tend to feel unsafe or anxious at home or in public places. creation of an unsafe environment for some people.
This
essay will display possible reasons for Linking Words
this
Linking Words
problem
and propose some solutions to overcome the issue.
A sense of anxiety or danger that individuals might feel, could be caused by psychological disorders or past traumas. Use synonyms
As a result
of continuous abuse or some sort of bullying, one might suffer from long-term stress or even depression, which can lead to dramatic consequences Linking Words
such
as social anxiety or panic Linking Words
attack
in public places. Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
Moreover
, it is fair to judge that the modern world is cruel to outstanding victims of unpleasant situations. Linking Words
For instance
, many young ladies in Muslim countries were abused or threatened by their own family members like dads or brothers and only one-third of women had enough courage to openly talk about Linking Words
this
issue or sue them, Linking Words
therefore
a Linking Words
problem
of social disapproval or conservative views has a direct correlation withUse synonyms
Add an article
the
Firstly
, the government of any country should concentrate on investing financials Linking Words
to
the medical and psychological treatments of residents, as it can be an efficient way to avoid the passive-aggressive attitude of some in society. Professional help could reduce the level of anxiety of some and facilitate their everyday life. As a second solution to the issue, family members should be aware of the Change preposition
in
problem
of their loved ones to morally support them in tough situations Use synonyms
such
as panic attacks. Linking Words
For example
, if a teenager is being constantly bullied by their classmates or even their teachers, there should be a school officer who can be able to protect Linking Words
and
warn their parents about that, Correct pronoun usage
them and
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
Linking Words
consequently
it will acquire less treatment in the future and could help to raise “healthy” students.
Add a comma
consequently,
To conclude
, there is an acute Linking Words
problem
of residents who feel unsafe or uncomfortable in public places, like schools or workplaces ,Use synonyms
,
Change the punctuation
apply
however
the possible solutions Linking Words
of
Change preposition
to
this
might be legally set laws about the support of these victims and more control in schools.Linking Words
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on
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task response
In the introduction, the essay states the possible reasons for feeling unsafe and proposes solutions to address the issue. However, the body paragraphs could be more focused on elaborating the reasons and solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported with relevant examples. However, the logical structure could be improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary used is fairly good, but there are instances of wordiness and awkward phrasing. Using more precise and concise language would enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, but there are some errors in sentence structure and word usage. Paying attention to sentence clarity and accuracy would improve the grammatical range.