IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in buliding large outdoor public spaces.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#believe #cities #towns #spaces
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Today, there is a school of thought that government should prioritize spacious outdoor constructions in metropolitan regions. I do agree with
this
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 idea and I will explain my answer through
this
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 essay It is apparent that every big
city
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 nowadays
are
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is
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 filled with skyscrapers or small houses without gardens.
People
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 in these are mostly live in apartments
instead
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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garden house like those living in
the
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apply
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rural area.
Furthermore
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, with normal 9 to 5 jobs,
people
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 seem to be confined
in
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to
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 4 walls most of the time.
This
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 lifestyle brings a lot of issues to the well being of both mental and physical health. Many
people
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 suffer from depression, obesity due to lacking outdoor activities.
Besides
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, kids who grow up in big cities often have eyesight problems because of addiction to digital devices. By providing public outdoor spaces,
city
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 dwellers will have a place to do exercises, enjoy the fresh air and socialize. These outdoor activities seem to be futile, but in fact, they contribute a lot of benefits to the life quality of the citizen.
Moreover
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, big outdoor spaces could be used as shelters for gathering
people
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 in some emergency situations like
earthquake
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earthquakes
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 or fires.
Besides
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, sometimes they might be utilized for hosting big events like concerts or rallies.
For example
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, NYC is an infamous
city
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 with highrise buildings in the
city
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 centre. Without the central park, Newyorkers would be hard to find an appropriate place to relax.
Nevertheless
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, governments should be careful in making plans for public outdoor places construction. These spots must be calculated based on the population rates of each area.
Besides
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, the location needs to be convenient for
people
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 to get to in order to attract as many
people
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 as possible. Without wise investment, these places will soon be derelict, which would be a major waste for the cities, whose lands have already been scarce. In conclusion, outdoor public spaces are crucial for
city
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 life. They need to be advocated by the local government and invested in a suitable manner.
Submitted by pphuongkhanh96 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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