IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

At the present time, the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
The
age
 distribution within a region has a direct impact on its growth.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 are different
age
 groups,
such
 as teenage, adult and elderly classified based on their
age
 and each crowd has their own contribution towards the progress of a nation. In recent times, there has been a huge increase in the population of young people compared to the elderly public.
This
 essay will discuss
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why the current situation is in favour of our society.
To begin
 with, the youngsters are proactive, healthy and have the enthusiasm to empower the society with
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 economy. They can work for additional hours and put in more effort which
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the production and services in various sectors.
For instance
, a young person can work extra for about 12 hours to provide the desired result, whereas the elder person might find it physically challenging to complete the task in a given time.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young adults are more ambitious and innovative in terms of learning and understanding the latest technology.
This
 ability helps them to come up with creative ideas in various fields leading to the overall advancement of a nation.
For example
, a range of software applications that were introduced into the market in terms of health and shopping were by young people who came up with these proposals to make life easier and save time. In conclusion, despite the fact that all
age
 groups have something to offer in their own way,
such
 as elderly people can guide the young by sharing their experiences and ensuring the culture and tradition are intact, but the country will only be able
prosper
Add the particle
to prosper
show examples
 if we have
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 proportion of young adults guaranteeing the growth and development.
Submitted by jabeenfarhana9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: