IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that it is a good idea for older people to work if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work
well there is
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of arguments behind the retirement of older
people
 nowadays because they can do
work
 all time in my view senior citizens
has
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have
show examples
 to take rest after
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 retirement or they do not take any
work
 after 50 because they need to take rest and take care
health
firstly
, oldage humans
has
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have
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 to get good
health
 care after 50 because mainly because they could not take
work
 easy or they will finish at right time
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
 some construction
feild
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field
mankinds
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mankind
 has to pick more heavy
iteams
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items
 like bricks irons steel
cements
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cement
types of cement
blocks of cement
show examples
 etc if old
people
 take that
work
 it will effects in their body
health
however
, some
people
thinks
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think
show examples
 that senior has to take more job in
entire
Correct pronoun usage
their entire
show examples
 life because
Correct your spelling
the
tjhe
Change preposition
of tjhe
show examples
 favour of money but they do not realise about the
health
 and mentality power
therefore
 ,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 of each and every nation has to help old
people
 and give
relife
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relief
show examples
 medical
insurence
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insurance
 and
pention
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pension
 from gov. to conclude, personally
i
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I
show examples
 will
recomand
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recommend
 that we always respect senior
people
 and help
theam
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them
welll
Correct your spelling
well
 they need
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 happy and good life in
Add a hyphen
old-time
show examples
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
 time they deserve that
Submitted by samaladk5151 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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