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Band 2

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous . to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #diseases
children must complete all kinds of immunization to stay healthy
otherwise
 any kind of disease can be harmful. these people claim that it's hazardous and not quite essential to vaccinate
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
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children
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.
This
 essay will argue why vaccinating children against several diseases is entirely necessary
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
its
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it's
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 dangerous. Parents are worried about injecting an unfamiliar substance
in
Change preposition
into
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 their
Correct your spelling
child's
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
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 body which could
be possibly make
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possibly make
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 them sick. Babies, which born
prematurally
Correct your spelling
prematurely
 are more on the inclined path to
fall
Wrong verb form
falling
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 sick because they have low immunity power and it might create
a
Change the article
an
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 unnatural chemical reaction
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 will be harmful.
However
, vaccination is based on the idea to keep people safe rather than falling ill.
Furthermore
, more vaccines have been developed so that the mortality rate in infants get reduced.
For instance
, the vaccines of polio are still going on because they have declined the rate of infections in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger babies .
Submitted by Aryan Parab on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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