IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #trials #television #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the crimes in our community
are more
Verb problem
have
show examples
 dramatically increased, hazardous, and complicated than in the past. In some countries, criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 are broadcast on
television
Use synonyms
 for the public. From my point of view, I think it would be advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages of the criminal case published on
television
Use synonyms
, described with the supporting statements in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, parents can bring those criminal cases on the
television
Use synonyms
 to teach their kids.
For instance
Linking Words
, they should be aware of the crimes when they do activities outside their home without parents or adults, even though they stay at home alone.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, publication to
people
Use synonyms
 on criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 might be beneficial to reduce the criminal cases in the community. Acknowledging criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 to the public is essential,
for example
Linking Words
, to give a legal ruling knowledge to our citizens to realise what they should or should not do.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 know the consequences of those criminal actions.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the awareness has occurred in their mind when they are thinking to do.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it might be a drawback to some
people
Use synonyms
 who will realise how to do the crimes without police tracking.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they might attempt to do the crime by using law loopholes to keep them away from the arrest.
For instance
Linking Words
, they prefer to commit a crime at night
instead
Linking Words
 of daytime or in the house, with only the senior citizens staying
instead
Linking Words
 of the crowded family. In conclusion, it can be affirmed that if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminal
trials
Use synonyms
 are broadcast on
television
Use synonyms
 to the public, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages in terms of the acknowledgement to the community and educating our young
people
Use synonyms
 not to do the wrong things.
Lastly
Linking Words
, one of the
most
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
 benefits is that it might decrease the crime cases in our country.
Submitted by VC on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more comprehensive, providing a clearer overview of the main points.
task achievement
Make sure to address all the aspects of the task prompt. Additionally, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the ideas in a more detailed manner.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: