IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue.

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At the present, public
health
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important issues that every country should concern about it, Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that government should take place and be responsible for public
health
Use synonyms
, while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 think that improving public
health
Use synonyms
 should be a part taken by
people
Use synonyms
 in the community too. In the following paragraphs, both of
these viewpoint
Change the determiner
this viewpoint
these viewpoints
show examples
 will be
disscussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 in detail before the conclusion is reached. It is true to say that government have an important role to develop public
health
Use synonyms
. They should provide a clean environment and increase sport
facilitys
Correct your spelling
facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and swimming
pool
Fix the agreement mistake
pools
show examples
 in order to encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to exercise.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
authories
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should provide
health
Use synonyms
 care policy because it is a right that everyone in the community should deserve.
However
Linking Words
, everything that government do might not work if
people
Use synonyms
 do not take care of their
health
Use synonyms
. There is an important thing for everyone to be
resoinsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for their
health
Use synonyms
. Individuals should have good lifestyles
such
Linking Words
 as
eat
Change the form of the verb
eating
show examples
 healthy food ,
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a balanced diet and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sufficient rest.
In addition
Linking Words
, they should consult a doctor
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year and have a medical
check up
Add a hyphen
check-up
show examples
 to see if their body is still fit and
also
Linking Words
 to maintain their
health
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. In conclusion, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
governments and individuals have a great
impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
show examples
 on improving public
health
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. While governments take serious actions on
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues,
people
Use synonyms
 should pay more attention to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 care of themselves. Doing these things can lead to a healthy community in the future.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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