Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is very important for every individual to play

sport

as it has the bulk of advantages but there are some

sports

sky

diving and skiing which could be very unsafe for any person. I completely disagree with the statement that it is very dangerous to play

such

sport

Correct article usage

a sport

show examples

and should be banned.

Firstly

Sky

diving and skiing are

also

sport

and lots of people play these

sports

. I have a question : How are these games risky? The environment in which skiing is done is prepared in a way that it should not injure any player.

Similarly

sky

diving is done with

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of precautions.

Moreover

, they provide us with trainers when in need. To illustrate, I too once got fascinated by

this

game and so I too did

sky

diving.While I was nervous ,the way the trainer has consoled me was exceptional.So, I think it

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

extreme

Correct article usage

an extreme

show examples

sport

and need not

Remove the word

apply

show examples

be banned.

Secondly

, These types of

sport

help in exploring a person and they too help to overcome fears. A survey of a magazine says the human mind explore about 20 per cent after playing these kinds of

sports

For instance

, My one friend was having a phobia of heights. In order to overcome

his

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

fear

, his father took him

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sky

diving and he was shivering there but with the help of

Correct article usage

the instructor

show examples

instructor

Add a comma

,instructor

show examples

he was able to do it perfectly which help him in overcoming his

fear

. If he would not have done

sky

diving,he never would have overcome

this

fear

and after

that

Add a comma

,that

show examples

he was ready to fight his every

fear

. So,

this

sport

only

given

Wrong verb form

gave

show examples

him

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

confidence that if he can do it, so he can do everything. To conclude, I would say it is necessary to play these games as these games help us in overcoming our weakness, as well as these

these

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

sports

are played under the supervision of trainers.So, they are not at all dangerous.

Submitted by anash.suhail on Wed Oct 27 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adrenaline rush
risk threshold
thrill-seeking
safety protocols
hazard assessment
adventure tourism
regulatory framework
personal autonomy
informed consent
risk mitigation strategies
thrill-seeking behavior
protective gear
extreme athleticism
freedom of choice
accident prevalence
emergency response
courage and resilience
endorphin release
legal implications
peer pressure effects

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Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Higher education could be funded in three ways. All costs paid by government, all costs paid by students or students paying all costs through a government loan. What are the advantages of these choices?

Some organization believe that their employee should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appliance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced ?

"Individual actions have little or no effect on climate change. For this reason, worthwhile change can ony be made at governmental level. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Deforestation caused by human activities is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?