Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opini

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There have
beeen
Correct your spelling
been
competing views whether smarter
computers
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than human beings
show
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positive
development
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or negative
development
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. In my opinion, intelligent machines will
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show
Verb problem
have
show examples
bad
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the bad
a bad
show examples
effect on
economy
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the economy
show examples
by decreasing jobs for the
people
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.
Computers
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become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
more advanced will be
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
development
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because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provide updated information to
people
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and humans need training in order to learn something first
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
use those tactics
at
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on
show examples
job
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the job
a job
show examples
.
For example
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,
crew
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the crew
show examples
at work use
new
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the new
a new
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version of
app
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the app
show examples
and
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apply
show examples
download
Correct subject-verb agreement
downloads
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the data and
saved
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saves
show examples
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the file .
Thus
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,
this
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will help
people
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to go back and forth to see
Add an article
the video
a video
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video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
in their flexible time
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
need to train for the new procedure first
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then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
train others at
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
then
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
consume
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consumes
show examples
valuable time.
However
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, humans can motivate others with their efforts but machines only keep things updated
but
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and
show examples
doesnt
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doesn't
show
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learning value. Those on the other side of the argument say that if technology
will become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
more
advance
Correct word choice
advanced
show examples
then
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it is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development
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, there are
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of jobs replaced by
computers
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. There are
people
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who
provides
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provide
show examples
coaching in
insitutions
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institutions
and at home
also
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,if
people
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start learning from
computers
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then
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a lot of
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
will be unemployed and result in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of motivation in their personal life .
This
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will
Use synonyms
show
Verb problem
have
show examples
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
show examples
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the economy because unemployment rates
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
high . Since
this
Linking Words
intellignce
Correct your spelling
intelligence
in technology will bring
Correct article usage
the unemployement
show examples
unemployement
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unemployment
rate higher ,
so
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apply
show examples
i agree that
this
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development
Use synonyms
will
Use synonyms
show
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on the economy. In conclusion , there are some positive
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
that
computers
Use synonyms
will save vaue of time for many
indviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
but it is undeniable that
this
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smart technology
also
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increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
rate .
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should restate the question and outline your position. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea and be fully developed with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex structures accurately.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task fully by discussing both the positive and negative aspects thoroughly, demonstrating an understanding of the topic. Additionally, provide a balanced argument before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. The examples given should be detailed and relevant to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Proofread your essay to correct mistakes in verb tenses, word choice, and sentence formation.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and paraphrase effectively where appropriate. Avoid repetition of the same words and phrases.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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