Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it is negative development. Discuss both points and give your own opini
There have
beeen
competing views whether smarter Correct your spelling
been
computers
than human beings show
positive development
or negative development
. In my opinion, intelligent machines will show
Verb problem
have
bad
effect on Add an article
the bad
a bad
economy
by decreasing jobs for the Add an article
the economy
people
.
Computers
become
more advanced will be Wrong verb form
becoming
positive
Add an article
a positive
development
because it
provide updated information to Correct pronoun usage
they
people
and humans need training in order to learn something first then
use those tactics Correct word choice
and then
at
Change preposition
on
job
. Add an article
the job
a job
For example
, crew
at work use Add an article
the crew
new
version of Add an article
the new
a new
app
Add an article
the app
and
Correct word choice
apply
download
the data and Correct subject-verb agreement
downloads
saved
Wrong verb form
saves
in
the file . Correct pronoun usage
it in
Thus
, this
will help people
to go back and forth to see Add an article
the video
a video
video
in their flexible time Fix the agreement mistake
videos
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
human
need to train for the new procedure first Fix the agreement mistake
humans
then
train others at Correct word choice
and then
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
then
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
consume
valuable time. Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
However
, humans can motivate others with their efforts but machines only keep things updated but
Correct word choice
and
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
show
learning value.
Those on the other side of the argument say that if technology will become
more Wrong verb form
becomes
advance
Correct word choice
advanced
then
it is negative
Add an article
a negative
development
, there are number
of jobs replaced by Change the article
a number
the number
computers
. There are people
who provides
coaching in Change the verb form
provide
insitutions
and at home Correct your spelling
institutions
also
,if people
start learning from computers
then
a lot of person
will be unemployed and result in Change to a plural noun
people
lack
of motivation in their personal life . Correct article usage
a lack
This
will show
Verb problem
have
drastic
effect Correct article usage
a drastic
in
the economy because unemployment rates Change preposition
on
gets
high . Since Change the verb form
get
this
intellignce
in technology will bring Correct your spelling
intelligence
Correct article usage
the unemployement
unemployement
rate higher ,Correct your spelling
unemployment
so
i agree that Correct word choice
apply
this
development
will show
Verb problem
have
negative
effect on the economy.
In conclusion , there are some positive Add an article
a negative
aspect
that Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
computers
will save vaue of time for many indviduals
at Correct your spelling
individuals
workplace
but it is undeniable that Add an article
the workplace
this
smart technology also
increase
Change the verb form
increases
unemployment
rate .Add an article
the unemployment
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should restate the question and outline your position. Each body paragraph should contain one main idea and be fully developed with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. Try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex structures accurately.
task achievement
Make sure to address the task fully by discussing both the positive and negative aspects thoroughly, demonstrating an understanding of the topic. Additionally, provide a balanced argument before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. The examples given should be detailed and relevant to the argument.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Proofread your essay to correct mistakes in verb tenses, word choice, and sentence formation.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and paraphrase effectively where appropriate. Avoid repetition of the same words and phrases.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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