Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country rather than other countries’. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many think
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
local
literature
such
as fiction and poetry must be valued over those of other nations. I do agree with
this
view for two primary
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
as follows.
Firstly
, studying the local
literature
deepen
Correct subject-verb agreement
deepens
show examples
the understanding of one’s own country
particularly
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, particularly
show examples
for children at a young age in school.
For instance
, in Iran introducing
masterpieses
Correct your spelling
masterpieces
masterpiece
like Shahname, Manteghoteir, or Golestan to adolescents will give them a reliable source of information so that they can be aware of their rich culture and history
such
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apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
a sense of belonging and unity to them.
Furthermore
, having access to a huge and various source of
literature
from all over the world plus social media, movies, and series, in our contemporary world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
fading diversity and leading to a
homogeneousness
Replace the word
homogeneous
show examples
world. Teaching local
literature
to the younger generation,
therefore
, demands
further
consideration.
Secondly
, knowing and reading more of regional
literature
can boost individuals’ personal and collective identity
specially
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especially
show examples
the youth,
hence
the importance of teaching district
literature
at schools. To exemplify, reading works of authors
such
as Jamalzadeh, Farrokhzad, or Hedayat helps Iranian juveniles to form their identity based on Persian culture since they explain Iranian customs, taboos, or beliefs in their books in the form of stories and poems. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that schools must concentrate more on their own
countries
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countries'
country's
show examples
literature
rather than those far away countries for the sake of a nation’s collective identity and enhancing
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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individuals’ sense of belonging.
Submitted by alperenyakut on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure throughout. While your essay is generally well-organized, try to enhance the flow between paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce and conclude your essay more effectively by clearly stating your position and summarizing your argument in the conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but refining them to more clearly outline your main points and stance can make your argument even more persuasive.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. You provided relevant examples, but expanding on these with more detail or incorporating additional examples could strengthen your argument.
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Keep your focus on fully addressing the task. You've managed to provide a comprehensive response to the prompt, articulating clear and comprehensive ideas. To enhance this further, carefully consider possible counterarguments to your view and address them to show a thorough understanding of the topic.
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