Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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It is very important for every individual to play
sport
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as it has the bulk of advantages but there are some
sports
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like
sky
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diving and skiing which could be very unsafe for any person. I completely disagree with the statement that it is very dangerous to play
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
sport
Correct article usage
a sport
show examples
and should be banned.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Sky
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diving and skiing are
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
sport
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sports
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and lots of people play these
sports
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. I have a question : How are these games risky? The environment in which skiing is done is prepared in a way that it should not injure any player.
Similarly
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,
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sky diving
Correct your spelling
skydiving
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is done with
lot
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a lot
show examples
of precautions.
Moreover
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, they provide us with trainers when in need. To illustrate, I too once got fascinated by
this
Linking Words
game and so I too did
sky
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diving.
While
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I was nervous ,the way the trainer
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consoled me was exceptional.So, I think it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
extreme
Correct article usage
an extreme
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sport
Use synonyms
and need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
be banned.
Secondly
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, These types of
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
help in exploring a person and they too help to overcome fears. A survey
of
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by
show examples
a magazine says the human mind
explore
Correct subject-verb agreement
explores
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about 20 per cent after playing these kinds of
sports
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.
For instance
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, My one friend was having a phobia of heights. In order to overcome
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
fear
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, his father took him
to
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apply
show examples
sky
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diving and he was shivering there but with the help of
Correct article usage
the instructor
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instructor
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instructor,
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he was able to do it perfectly which
help
Wrong verb form
helped
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him
in overcoming
Wrong verb form
overcome
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his
fear
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. If he
would
Verb problem
had
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not
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done
sky
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diving,he never would have overcome
this
Linking Words
fear
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and after
that
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that,
show examples
he was ready to fight his every
fear
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. So,
this
Linking Words
sport
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only
given
Wrong verb form
gave
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him
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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confidence that if he can do it, so he can do everything.
To conclude
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, I would say it is necessary to play these games as these games help us
in overcoming
Wrong verb form
overcome
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our
weakness
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weaknesses
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,
as well as
Linking Words
these these
sports
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,
sports
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are played under the supervision of trainers.So, they are not at all dangerous.
Submitted by anash.suhail on

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task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments or alternative perspectives to provide a more balanced view, even if you ultimately disagree with them.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence variety and reducing repetitive language to enhance the overall sophistication of your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, with specific examples to support the main argument.
task achievement
It effectively uses personal experiences and real-life examples to illustrate points, making the essay relatable and engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
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