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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits of living in the cities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #lifestyle #countryside #health #cities
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Nowadays, individual think that they will have a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 by living in the
village
Use synonyms
, while other claims that
cities
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 residents have a healthy
lifestyle
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. Personally, I believe that the
cities
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 have more
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 than those who staying in outside of the
cities
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.
However
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will
be discuss
Change the verb form
be discussed
be discussing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views and
then
Linking Words
 I will about my option in the conclusion.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, it is commonly known that life in the
village
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
such
Linking Words
 quite distinction with the
citiy
Correct your spelling
city
residents´s
Remove the s
residents´
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. Generally, in the
village
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 people usually own a garden whereas the fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 are plants.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are much more
activie
Correct your spelling
active
, compare to the
city-people
Correct your spelling
city people
show examples
. To illustrate that there is some
proven
Replace the word
proof
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 that
village
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 people have to use their body
strenght
Correct your spelling
strength
 from morning to night,
by
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
 work in
garden
Add an article
the garden
show examples
 and bring food for their family. It is
clearly
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clear
show examples
 that they live a life with natural
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
 and have mostly organic foodstuff.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some people who think that those who live in the
cities
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, will have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. In fact, the
cities
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resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents
show examples
 have more options,
such
Linking Words
 as
acessing
Correct your spelling
accessing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 healthcare, gym membership.
In addition
Linking Words
, for mind relaxing, they have opportunities to
go to
Add a hyphen
go-to
show examples
 coffee
shop
Change the noun form
shops
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such
Linking Words
 as Starbuck and Costa. In
In
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 urban areas facilitate residents with prestigious health benefits and wellbeing facilities, I believe that villagers are wealthy with more natural health assistance to spend a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 easier.
Submitted by rabia.sono on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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