Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??
Parenting as a subject should be included in the
school
curriculum in order to learn. Although
, there are some people who claim that will be beneficial for children,Correct word choice
apply
while
, others decline this
notion. In, forthcoming
essay, I will articulate the pros and cons of Correct pronoun usage
my forthcoming
this
statement.
Generally speaking, there are some people who favour parenting taught at school
in juveniles
early stage of life , because it helps to realise a sense of responsibility. Perhaps, the most predominant reason is that, if Change noun form
juveniles'
juvenile's
this
topic is added to the school
syllabus they can learn about how to take care of themselves as well as
their siblings. In other words
, modern parents are busy with their professional life , in their absence
adolescents can look after younger members of their families. Add a comma
absence,
For example
, a few years back a survey has been
conducted to see the ratio of pupils who taught parenting at Wrong verb form
was
school
but the outcome was astonishing because 40% of children were becoming more sensible and responsible compared to the past.
However
, on the other hand
, there are a couple of drawbacks introduce
a new course . Change preposition
to introducing
Firstly
, I strongly believe that,
young Remove the comma
apply
children
bags are already loaded with lots of activities and subjects. For that reason, every day they attempted lots of work at Change noun form
children's
school
and after school
and also
started to feel study as a burden and get fatigued as well as
faced with some mental disorder. For instance
, Who reports that, unlike ,past
the rate of depression and obesity among Correct article usage
the past
the
younger Correct article usage
apply
child
increases dangerously Fix the agreement mistake
children
thus
of school
works. SoReplace the word
schoolwork
that
, we should not add any extra topic at an early age because Correct determiner usage
apply
this
is not essential to learn
they can learn Replace the word
learning
this
at
their adulthood.
Change preposition
in
To conclude
, students should enjoy their childhood without taking any responsibilities therefore
, it is not the right time to learn about duties. I recommend Add the comma(s)
, therefore
,
they need to live their Remove the comma
apply
school
life.Submitted by mahmuduts on
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task response
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt but lacks a clear stance and a balanced argument. There is also a need for a more comprehensive discussion of the benefits and drawbacks of including parenting in the school curriculum.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: There is some attempt at logical structure and supporting main points, but the essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the unclear progression of ideas, lack of clear introduction and conclusion, and inadequate use of examples and evidence to support the points.