Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that non-academic
subjects
such
as music, art and drama are equally crucial as other academic
subjects
, especially when the child is in primary school.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement because extra-curriculum activities help in physical and mental development and
also
encourage them to make their career in the film industry. The primary reason why music, art and drama are important as other
subjects
are because these kinds of activities are very important for young ones for their physical and intellectual development.
This
is to say that if young children participate in dance or painting competitions in primary school, they will do physical exercise and their minds will be more developed.
For instance
, ‘Times of America newspaper’ surveyed that children who focus both on academic as well as on non-academic
subjects
are more physically developed as compared to the other youngster who just
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
show examples
on their studies in primary school. The
second
main reason for giving them equal importance as other
subjects
is because ,in the future, these children can make their career in the art and film industry.
This
is because, if youth started learning in art-related activities from a very young age, they could become all-rounder, which helps them to decide whether they want to become artists or scientists, engineers.
For example
, Even though Amrinder Gill who is a famous Punjabi singer has a masters degree in Agriculture , he preferred to become a singer. In conclusion, Non-academic
subjects
are equally important as academic
subjects
are because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
help them to promote their physical and cognitive skills and, offspring can
also
start thinking about their career at the primary level.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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