IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Whilst many
people
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 have the belief that retailers and producers are obliged to diminish the mass-produced volume of packaged
products
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, some individuals contend with the notion that buyers should be inclined to purchase unpacked goods
instead
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 of packaged ones. I firmly hold the view that it is a must for both manufacturers and markets
as well as
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 individuals themselves to address the growing concern of the packaging industry and its negative effects on the contamination of the earth. On the
one
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 hand, it is a prevalent fact that packaging is considered
one
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 of the most important process phases of any modern production site or retail market. Massive amount of packaging waste entails contamination of living spaces, blending in soil and eradicating the substratum.
Therefore
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, the mass producers of the packaging industry associated with supermarket chains should only utilize packaging for certain types of
products
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,
thus
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 decreasing the amount of packaged goods.
For example
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, buyers are given multiple
packages
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 to purchase
products
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,
however
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,
one
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 single package can eliminate redundancy and can
also
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 be reused multiple times on future occasions.
On the other hand
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,
people
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's role is utterly important to tackle the effects of large-scale packaging of
products
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.
People
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 have the power and tools to redirect the future of eco-friendly packaging by ceasing to purchase plastic
packages
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 which are
one
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 of the chief culprits of global pollution.
Furthermore
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, by raising awareness amongst new generations, they will be able to alter the agenda of companies that produce conventional packaged goods.
Additionally
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, a movement triggered by
people
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 to switch from plastic to reusable bags will sway manufacturers and supermarkets toward sustainability, complying with the given feedback. In conclusion, the involvement of both users and producers is paramount to fighting off the misuse of
packages
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 on a broader scale. The simultaneous efforts committed by supermarkets, manufacturers and
people
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 play a pivotal role in reducing the number of excess
packages
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed logically. At times, the essay wanders onto general topics, which can dilute the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and communicate the candidate's opinion clearly, which is good. The essay could be improved by creating stronger links between the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure the main points in favor of each view are supported by clear examples or evidence. Examples given were somewhat general and lacked specificity.
task achievement
All parts of the task have been addressed, although the response could be enhanced by offering more depth into how customers can influence packaging demands and the specific responsibilities of manufacturers/supermarkets.
task achievement
Aim for comprehensive development of ideas throughout the essay. While the essay addressed the task, some arguments felt underdeveloped and would benefit from further explanation and detail.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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