IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, adults are living with their parents after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #job #outweigh
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Now a days
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Nowadays
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, being independent in all aspect of life is
a
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the
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first
Linking Words
 step of adulthood,
however
Linking Words
, in some nations
matured
Replace the word
mature
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 people who are independent in their career and education lives with their
parents
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. I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the advantages and disadvantages and give my firm opinion at the end of
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
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. On the one
hands
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hand
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, the
elders
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 have
thirst
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a thirst
the thirst
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of
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for
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 emotional and physical
cares
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care
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 is an irrefutable fact,
moreover
Linking Words
,
children
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 even though be in their mid-ages who living with their
parents
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 giving them a great chance of physical
supporting
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support
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 for
examples
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example
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: they can do all domestic tasks
such
Linking Words
 as cleaning, making food and go to shopping,
in addition
Linking Words
,
duo
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due
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 to the fact that there is a strong bond between
children
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 and
parents
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,
elders
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 probably are less involved with depression as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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parents
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 are deserted by their
children
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. On the other
hands
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hand
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, feeling
worry
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worried
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 about economic problems and
unpeaceful
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an unpeaceful
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 atmosphere home could be harmful
for
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to
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elders
Use synonyms
,
besides
Linking Words
,
matured
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mature
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children
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staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 with their
parents
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 yet, as
a elder
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an elder parent
elder parents
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parents
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 they encounter with
great
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a great
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 deal of expenditures cost,
furthermore
Linking Words
, they need to live in
quite
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quiet
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 home and stay far from
children
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 issues that make them nervous. To sum up,
matured
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mature
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children
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 can live with their
parents
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,
however
Linking Words
, I definitely believe that adults should
lives
Wrong verb form
live
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 independently in a hope that
elders
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 live in
calm
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a calm
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 atmosphere
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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