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Band 3

In some countries, adults are living with their parents after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #adults #parents #job #outweigh
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, being independent in all aspect of life is
a
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the
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first
 step of adulthood,
however
, in some nations
matured
Replace the word
mature
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 people who are independent in their career and education lives with their
parents
. I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages and give my firm opinion at the end of
essay
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the essay
an essay
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. On the one
hands
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hand
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, the
elders
 have
thirst
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a thirst
the thirst
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of
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for
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 emotional and physical
cares
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care
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 is an irrefutable fact,
moreover
,
children
 even though be in their mid-ages who living with their
parents
 giving them a great chance of physical
supporting
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support
show examples
 for
examples
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example
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: they can do all domestic tasks
such
 as cleaning, making food and go to shopping,
in addition
,
duo
Correct your spelling
due
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 to the fact that there is a strong bond between
children
 and
parents
,
elders
 probably are less involved with depression as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
parents
 are deserted by their
children
. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
, feeling
worry
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worried
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 about economic problems and
unpeaceful
Correct article usage
an unpeaceful
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 atmosphere home could be harmful
for
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to
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elders
,
besides
,
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
children
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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 with their
parents
 yet, as
a elder
Correct the article-noun agreement
an elder parent
elder parents
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parents
 they encounter with
great
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a great
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 deal of expenditures cost,
furthermore
, they need to live in
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 home and stay far from
children
 issues that make them nervous. To sum up,
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
children
 can live with their
parents
,
however
, I definitely believe that adults should
lives
Wrong verb form
live
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 independently in a hope that
elders
 live in
calm
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a calm
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 atmosphere
in
Change preposition
for
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 the rest of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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