In some countries, adults are living with their parents after graduating or even after finding a job. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, being independent in all aspect of life is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
first
step of adulthood,
however
, in some nations
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
people who are independent in their career and education lives with their
parents
. I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the advantages and disadvantages and give my firm opinion at the end of
essay
Add an article
the essay
an essay
show examples
. On the one
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, the
elders
have
thirst
Add an article
a thirst
the thirst
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
emotional and physical
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
is an irrefutable fact,
moreover
,
children
even though be in their mid-ages who living with their
parents
giving them a great chance of physical
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
: they can do all domestic tasks
such
as cleaning, making food and go to shopping,
in addition
,
duo
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to the fact that there is a strong bond between
children
and
parents
,
elders
probably are less involved with depression as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
parents
are deserted by their
children
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, feeling
worry
Change the verb form
worried
show examples
about economic problems and
unpeaceful
Correct article usage
an unpeaceful
show examples
atmosphere home could be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
elders
,
besides
,
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
children
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
with their
parents
yet, as
a elder
Correct the article-noun agreement
an elder parent
elder parents
show examples
parents
they encounter with
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
deal of expenditures cost,
furthermore
, they need to live in
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
home and stay far from
children
issues that make them nervous. To sum up,
matured
Replace the word
mature
show examples
children
can live with their
parents
,
however
, I definitely believe that adults should
lives
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
independently in a hope that
elders
live in
calm
Add an article
a calm
show examples
atmosphere
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the rest of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!