Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

this

odern day

Add a hyphen

modern-day

show examples

and age, childhood obesity is a burning issue all around the world. There are several reasons for

this

problem and many consequences related.

Thus

, some useful measures could be implemented to tackle

this

issue. As to the obesity of

children

, there are some causes and effects f

Change preposition

show examples

this

disease. The

first

factor is the bad eating habits of

children

In other words

, nowadays, with the development of fast

food

and junk

food

, the young tend to eat KFC, CocaCola, and snacks a lot.

This

leads to t

Correct article usage

show examples

higher risk of heart disease, obese and cancer in

children

. Another reason is t

he l

Change the article

apply

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azy

Replace the word

laziness

show examples

in doing e

xcercise

Correct your spelling

exercise

exercises

in the younger. In fact,

children

have a sedentary lifestyle with their smartphones, laptop and less playing sports or enjoying outdoor activities.

This

makes them overweight and vulnerable to g

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

sick. There are a lot of measures that could be taken by parents and s

chool

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

to help

children

resolve

this

trouble.

Firstly

, a simple solution would be to teach the child about the harmful effects of unhealthy

food

. By doing

this

children

will know about the danger of

this

unhealthy diet . Another way to help reduce

this

disease is and limit the amount of these foods that

children

could eat per week or per month.

This

measure will help the young eat less junk

food

, fast

food

and get used to living a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, obesity leads to various serious effects but it

also

has many solutions to address

this

problem.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Oct 30 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

living in a country where you have to speak a foreigen language can cause seriouse social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.