We can see more disasters and violence show on TV What are its cause and what effects will they exert on the individual and the society
Nowadays, it is undeniable that
children
have behaviour
and act the same as what they see on Verb problem
behave
television
more
in the past. We can see that there are many disasters and violent varieties on Correct quantifier usage
apply
television
that affect to bad behaviour and feeling
of Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
children
and individuals. In the following paragraphs, both causes
and effects of this
issue will be outlined in a
detail.
There are many Correct article usage
apply
causes
of bad behaviour and feeling
from disasters and violent Replace the word
feelings
news
that people
are watching on television
. Firstly
, most people
currently have stress in their life
that Fix the agreement mistake
lives
causes
many people
to commit a crime that is
extremely violent that news
agency is interested in that case. Secondly
, sometimes news
agency does not use consideration before presenting news
on a show and does not care who is watching their news
. For example
, some children
watch crime news
with their parents, and news
agencies like to reproduce a criminal situation. Finally
, we cannot predict a disaster, and sometimes we cannot avoid watching the news
of a disaster.
For the cause that I mentioned as
above with effect Change preposition
apply
to
every individual life in many conditions. Change preposition
on
Firstly
, an extremely violent criminal case that people
watch on television
makes them feel more stressed and they will use it as a model to commit a crime in the future especially
in Add the comma(s)
, especially
children
that they will remember the action of the criminal. Parents should teach them to know the disadvantages of criminal action if they are watching the news
together. Another reason is if people
cannot avoid watching disaster news
, they should watch it by using awareness and do
not cross the bridge until you come to it because if you do not use awareness you will have more stress and live with fear.
In conclusion, there are many Unnecessary verb
apply
causes
and effects from
watching disasters or violent Change preposition
of
news
from
Change preposition
on
television
. So, individuals and society have to watch it with consideration.Submitted by palmpppm on
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task response
Address the prompt by discussing both causes and effects of the issue in more detail. Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but you could improve the overall logical structure of the essay. Make sure to have a clear progression of ideas and use transition words to connect different parts of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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