Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

In the age of industrialization and modernization,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

's health seems to be much worse than it used to be in the past, especially the youngsters. And one of the reasons behind

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

that they find it nearly impossible to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

This

essay is aimed at talking about

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

cause

Add an article

the cause

show examples

before coming up with some solutions to

this

obstacle.

First

of all, the biggest cause of having an unhealthy diet may be the effect of peer pressure. When you're on a diet, many

people

around like your friends, your colleagues invite you to eat out with them, and you find it truly difficult to let them down.

This

is how your healthy routine

are

Change the verb form

show examples

completely destroyed.

Besides

, the impact of social media and advertising is

also

another huge contributor to

this

. It is midnight when you are surfing the Internet and come across a Mukbang video of your favourite

food

. You

immediatly

Correct your spelling

immediately

pick up your phone and order a table of

food

without hesitation to satisfy your stomach. Sadly,

almost

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

all of

show examples

the

food

appearing on advertising are not beneficial for your

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

, with a high proportion of fats, sugar and salts. Obesity, diabetes and heart attacks are unavoidable consequences

resulted

Wrong verb form

resulting

show examples

from consuming

this

kind of

food

. Fortunately,

however

, there are two promising solutions to

this

problem.

First

people

should be regularly educated on the lethal dangers of

maintaing

Correct your spelling

maintaining

maintain

this

unhealthy routine. Those warnings should

be appeared

Change to the active voice

appear

have appeared

show examples

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people think that detailed criminal description on newspapers and TV programs has bad consequence, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree?

Farmers within a country are often protected by tariffs - that is, special taxes on imported food. Such policies are necessary, and should be implemented wherever possible. To what extent do you agree with this?