Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contributions #society #field #sports #entertainment

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It is a common belief that

people

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that work in professional fields

such

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as doctors, nurses and teachers who help the society with great contributions shouldn’t be paid more than

people

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in other fields,

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however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

I firmly believe that their income should be higher.

This

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essay will address the reasons for my views as follows. On a personal level,

jobs

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that require a professional level just have a small number of

people

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choosing to work in and it

also

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takes them more years of study than the other

jobs

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For example

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, if you want to work as a doctor or teacher, you will have to study for about 6 to 8 years in university

instead

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of 3 to 4 years. Because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

They need to learn specialized knowledge and

really

Replace the word

real

show examples

insight of what they need to do.

As a result

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, if they get paid higher, it will create motivation and make them think that they are respected, recognized for what they have contributed. Another reason why professional workers should be paid more is that

the

Change the word

their

show examples

impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

on society is much bigger and stronger than other

jobs

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. We need them so that our young generation can be educated and the countries could be safer.

For example

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, if you get a disease, a doctor will be the one who saves you, not a footballer.

Consequently

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, all the professional workers keep the main key of an ideal society where

people

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are always healthy and educated. In conclusion, I am convinced that there are significant reasons to believe that

people

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whose

jobs

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are professional should be paid higher than the other

jobs

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Although

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people

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in the field of sports and entertainment could

also

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help to develop the countries

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

they will not be able to do that if there are no professional workers.

Submitted by nguyenngocminhanh1102 on Sun Oct 31 2021

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TODAY MANY PEOPLE WORK UNTIL A LATE AGE. DO ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES. GIVE REASONS.

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths ang weaknesses. it is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender ?

it is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both views and give your opinion.