Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, environmental and housing
problems
have degraded public
health
and some
people
believe that governments should address these
problems
as a top priority.
While
I agree with
this
view in some cases, I believe that convincing results will not be easily achieved by focusing solely on addressing the challenges of environmental pollution and ghost housing.
To begin
with, polluted air and water quality indeed is one of the main factors leading to the deterioration of human life. In urban areas, air and water pollution is widespread, caused by industrial activities and urbanization, leading to chronic diseases in humans with long-term exposure. long.
For example
, the Ganges River in India has been linked to serious illnesses, including cholera and hepatitis,
due to
the large amounts of industrial and human waste discharged into the river.
In addition
, lack of efficiency and decisiveness in housing construction creates additional
problems
of overpopulation and poor living conditions.
As a result
, these densely populated areas will become breeding grounds and habitats for disease vectors
such
as mosquitoes and fleas.
Therefore
, governments need to look more closely at introducing measures to help reduce environmental and housing
problems
.
However
, simply focusing on environmental and housing issues is not an effective way to combat all diseases. The government should prioritize raising public awareness and implementing educational programs
on protecting
Change preposition
to protect
show examples
public
health
.
Furthermore
, promoting healthy lifestyles can encourage
people
to adopt good habits.
In other words
, improving
people
's
health
knowledge and motivating them to lead healthier lifestyles does not. not only reduces disease-related mortality but
also
reduces the burden on the
health
system. In conclusion, it is important for the government to introduce measures to address the impediments caused by pollution and housing inefficiencies to improve
people
's
health
.
However
, the basic
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not only that households alone can limit themselves to those difficulties, but
people
themselves
also
play an important role in contributing to protecting a healthy living environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Keep working on incorporating a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow and cohesion of your arguments.
task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure a clear stance is taken throughout the essay and is consistently maintained to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You excellently introduced the topic and provided a clear thesis statement, effectively setting the stage for your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas, making your arguments easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint, reinforcing your initial stance and arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: