IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations

These days wealth disparity is a common phenomenon that polarized
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 into two poor and wealthy
nations
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that opulence
nations
Use synonyms
 should endow through
food
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, others believe that the governments of
poor
Add an article
the poor
a poor
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country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 should take care of their citizens themselves. I think by means of both ways poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 can experience better treatments. I will give my reasons for
this
Linking Words
 thought below.
Firstly
Linking Words
, wealthy
nations
Use synonyms
 have redundant sources that can help poorer
nations
Use synonyms
. These countries could
succor
Change the spelling
succour
show examples
 lower
nations
Use synonyms
 by providing
food
Use synonyms
 and suitable
education
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.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 instance, Building schools in deprived
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 would deliver free
education
Use synonyms
 for young
people
Use synonyms
 and encourage them to study.
As a result
Linking Words
, brilliant
people
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 who cannot afford
education
Use synonyms
’s expenses, find
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
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opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 to follow their dreams.
Secondly
Linking Words
, during natural
disasters
Add a comma
,disasters
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 poorer countries are unable to protect their
nations
Use synonyms
 and assist them with
food
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 and money. In
this
Linking Words
 situation,
country
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the country
a country
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 might drain out of
food
Use synonyms
 and utilities since they could be destroyed through storms or floods. Reacher
nations
Use synonyms
 should help them as their human responsibility and altruism until they will recover and can continue on their own.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the government
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of poor
nations
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 should not rely on only other
people
Use synonyms
. It is
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 duty to look after
their
Change the word
the
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
are suffer
Change the verb form
are suffering
show examples
. Government should provide free
education
Use synonyms
 and encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to use it. They could
also
Linking Words
 provide
finding
Fix the agreement mistake
findings
show examples
 and
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
 for students
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
come
Add the particle
tocome
show examples
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
low-income
Add an article
a low-income
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Governments could provide
Add an article
a loan
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loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
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 with zero interest in order to improve
economical
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
statue
Correct your spelling
status
show examples
 of poorer
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. These families could set up
Add an article
a business
the business
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and enhance their living quality. In conclusion, I believe
combination
Add an article
the combination
a combination
show examples
 of these two would contribute the best outcome for poor
nations
Use synonyms
.
Wealthy
Add an article
The wealthy
A wealthy
show examples
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 should be
altruism
Replace the word
altruistic
show examples
 and help poorer
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 and governments of poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 should realize that their
people
Use synonyms
 determine their existence.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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