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Band 7.5

Schools should teach children good behaviour and introduce ideas of "right" and "wrong". It should not only be left to parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #behaviour #right #parents
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Knowing how to differentiate between what's right and wrong is an important skill that should be implemented in life. Children must be taught about good manners and the philosophies of what is wrong and right in
school
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 too not only by their
parents
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. I fully agree with the idea of teaching those ideas in
school
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 rather than by
parents
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 alone.
Parents
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 should not let any chance of teaching a
child
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 about good manners slide. In fact, they need to act like it too.
Moreover
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, a kid often looks up to his
parents
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 or the
things
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 they espouse him to.
This
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 makes
things
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 more complicated for them as they need to catch up with their own
child
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 and apply some restrictions which balance their internal thoughts. Adding up the introduction of those phylosiphies in
school
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 the
child
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 will grow
such
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 high manners.
School
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 or as they call it "the second home" is the place where children spend most of their time and get exposed to many different aspects . Which makes it extremely vital for shaping one's identity.
Furthermore
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, the
things
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 that a student gets exposed to will probably stick to his head. Making teaching good behaviour important.
For example
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, if a
child
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 was taught about not going after a bad influence. Best believe that he won't do it later in his life especially if he took the teacher as a role model and the lessons as true life lessons. Which makes me firmly believe in the idea of teaching these
things
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 in
school
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 In conclusion, teaching good behaviour by both
school
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 and
parents
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 increases the chance of developing them in the
child
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's actions.
Submitted by hamdanaldehaihani37 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to make your main points more distinct in separate paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Including more specific examples will strengthen the arguments.
task achievement
Work on eliminating minor grammatical and spelling errors to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position, which is a strong point.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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