Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over how to allocate national
coffer
effectively. Fix the agreement mistake
coffers
While
some hold a statement that technological investment in exploring outerspace
should be necessarily made, the opposite Correct your spelling
outer space
claim
that spending on other aspects can bring more tremendous benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
claims
While
the former is valid to some extent, I am an advocate of the latter.
Without a shadow of a doubt, splurging budget on cosmet
exploration can be conducive to Correct your spelling
cosmetic
human’s
lives in Change noun form
human
a
distant future. In Correct article usage
the
this
day and age, the natural surroundings have been alarmingly exarcebated
by reckless actions and greedy needs of humans, which leads to the fact that it is possible for the Earth to become uninhabitable Correct your spelling
exacerbated
some day
. By greatly developing cutting-edge pieces of equipment to dig deeper into the unknown universe, people can pave the way for finding Correct your spelling
someday
other alternative livable planet
which can potentially replace the Earth if extinct. Change the wording
another alternative livable planet
other alternative livable planets
For example
, the Moon or the
Mars can be cited as gateways for Correct article usage
apply
human
to understand the whole universe. If there is any source of water and oxygen Fix the agreement mistake
humans
on
those places, they can be people’s future shelters. Change preposition
in
Hence
, cashing in high-tech gizmos to have a firmer grasp of cosmets
can be immensely advantageous for Correct your spelling
cosmetics
costs
the
many years to come.
Correct article usage
apply
While
the merit of money well-spent on space-discovering technologies is widely acknowledged, other more essential aspects should be focused more, especially education and healthcare
system. Since some certain countries which are quite underdeveloped and impoverished are not suitable for squandering too much money on space exploration, which makes little difference to their current serious situation, those two backbone industries can directly bring more positive impacts on the productivity of the Correct article usage
the healthcare
labor
workforce. Change the spelling
labour
For example
, by allocating national
budget to improve facilities in schools or hospitals and offering incentives to reduce Correct article usage
the national
financial
burden for students and patients, the government can Add an article
the financial
assure
a better-educated and healthier source of manpower devoting their lives to the nation, which directly boosts the country’s Verb problem
ensure
economy
strength. Replace the word
economic
Thus
, schooling and medicare care are two specific fields that a country should concentrate investing
in.
In Change preposition
on investing
my
conclusion, it is undeniable that cashing in advanced technology to explore space is favorable in the far future for Correct pronoun usage
apply
human’s
existence, for some countries, cashing in other essential facets like education and healthcare Change noun form
human
system
can do wonders moreFix the agreement mistake
systems
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity and organization. Avoid overstuffing paragraphs with too much information.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your main arguments in the introduction to provide a clearer roadmap of your essay to the reader.
task achievement
To improve task response, pay more attention to directly answering the question posed by the task. Your stance should be clear throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While general statements are made, detailed examples could further illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite