Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on their children. Why parents the reason for doing that? Is this a positive or negative development for the children?
It has been pointed out that several young
children
have been imposed a countless amount of pressure by their parents
. Personally, I opine that the difficulty of landing a job
and social attitude are the reasons for this
trend, and this
dreadful situation will lead to psychological issues for Correct article usage
the young
young
generations.
First of all, the fierce competition in the Correct word choice
younger
job
market is a significant reason why old people put more pressure on youngsters. This
is because ,in order to find a rewarding and lucrative job
, school children
need to achieve higher scores than that
of their peers to signify they have a high level of enthusiasm and qualification. As Correct determiner usage
those
parents
have known this
regulation of the workplace, they have to put more stress on their sons and daughters. For instance
, a massive number of parents
in Shanghai say that an increasing number of high-qualified
graduates who are from other regions come to Shanghai to find jobs, which causes extremely stiff competition in the local Correct your spelling
highly qualified
job
market. As a result
, they have to force their child to study until midnight to get a good academic performance, contributing to advantages to young children
’s future development. Besides
, a vast majority of individuals in current society think that youths who gain a
higher Correct article usage
apply
score
in their Fix the agreement mistake
scores
examination
are talented and successful, Fix the agreement mistake
examinations
thus
prompting parents
to put a lot of unnecessary strain on their children
.
Furthermore
, being imposed more pressure is detrimental to youngsters’ mental well-being. The reason is that if youths are forced to do several tasks that they are not passionate about constantly, they will feel stressed and anxious, causing extreme detriments to their mental health. As an illustration, a vast majority of students who receive extra tuition after school hours present that their parents
impose
them to attend extra classes to excelVerb problem
force
a
wonderful academic result, so they are less Change preposition
in a
more
likely to relax, which causes Correct quantifier usage
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
suffer
from depression.
In conclusion, Fix the infinitive
to suffer
although
people may vary in their opinion about the reasons and results of putting more strain on children
, I am of the opinion that the poor job
prospect
and social attitude are the reasons for it, and Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
this
appalling condition will result in mental detriments to young people.Submitted by strawberry.guan on
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task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by considering counterarguments and alternative perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring the essay with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that the main points are supported with relevant examples.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied lexical choices.
grammatical range
Use a wider variety of sentence structures and pay attention to grammatical accuracy and complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.