IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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Space exploration plays a pivotal role for the country.
Although
Linking Words
 it is sometimes thought to
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 on developing technology is unsupported, others believed that there are many profitable ways to spend
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I consider that government should use
Use synonyms
money
Add an article
the money
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on
Change preposition
in
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benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 ways
such
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 as medical care and
education
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, but space research is
also
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 necessary. A good reason to put wealth on
study
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the study
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 is that
education
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 is essential to get more educated
people
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, and they can earn name and fame across the world, and it would be proud for the country.
Furthermore
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,
education
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 brings positivity and prosperity
for
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to
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 society. Having resources of skilled and
knoeledgeable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
 professionals will lead
greater
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to greater
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 rewards to
association
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the association
an association
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.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, it is very useful to spend
money
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 on
education
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. Another point to consider
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
money
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on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 health
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
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 is that
people
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 from poor backgrounds are deprived of treatment because they are not able to pay these fees.
For instance
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, a person from China died of cancer as he did not have enough
money
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 for his surgery. So, there are many
people
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 who die due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of access to therapy.
Hence
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,
council
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the council
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 should spend
money
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 on it to decline
death
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the death
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 ratio.
On the other hand
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, the use of space exploration
have
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has
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 very few merits.
Firstly
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, it can be used for the country security in the latter stage but very few of them get a and full of experience.
Secondly
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, most of the public are not
awer
Correct your spelling
aware
 of what developments are going
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 area.
This
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 in a way loses the interest of the
people
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 field. In conclusion, funding
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and medical facilities should be kept
first
Linking Words
 because many
people
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 are still missing it.
Submitted by patelpayal8296 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
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