IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To secure
Change the verb form
Securing
show examples
 long-term financial stability is what everyone, especially the youth, has always been concerned about.
Although
Linking Words
 some may claim it is not wise to bother yourself with budgeting for the
future
Use synonyms
 and that you only must live in the moment, I definitely believe that you should have great foresight about probable upcoming complications in the
future
Use synonyms
. The former outlook is significantly based on the philosophy of happily living or precisely the theory of existentialism.
That is
Linking Words
, the more you enjoy every momentary occurrence in your daily
life
Use synonyms
, the less you are involved with redundant obsessions about the
future
Use synonyms
 which does not exist. People
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 attitude would undoubtedly prefer to allocate their
money
Use synonyms
 for their daily lives. What is more, they may consider saving
money
Use synonyms
 for the
future
Use synonyms
 as an unnecessary effort for something which is not certainly about to happen.
This
Linking Words
 might seem a relieving view.
However
Linking Words
, it is not rational to spend all your
money
Use synonyms
 without anticipating
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
Use synonyms
 expenses. The other group believes putting
money
Use synonyms
 aside for the
future
Use synonyms
 plays a crucial role in the path of successful living. People inevitably tend to become more disabled and dependent as they grow older.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some unexpected expenses are more prone to show up in elderliness
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare costs which you must always be ready for.
That is
Linking Words
 exactly the time that the positive results of your previous attempts to establish financial safety will emerge. The young generation should keep an eye on both the current
life
Use synonyms
 and the upcoming
future
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they must have precise planning of how they spend their
money
Use synonyms
 to be capable of both enjoying
life
Use synonyms
 and saving for the
future
Use synonyms
 to have a secure and effortless
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people believe that it is not worth it to worry about the
future
Use synonyms
 and endure the difficulties of budgeting the
future
Use synonyms
 needs, I surely think that to guarantee comfort and happiness in the
last
Linking Words
 years of your
life
Use synonyms
 you better foresee the
future
Use synonyms
 challenges and save your
money
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning how saving a specific percentage of income can help individuals manage unexpected expenses would clarify your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain a balanced development of your ideas throughout the essay. In some instances, the shifts between points could be smoother to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
You may want to define terms that may not be clear to all readers, such as 'existentialism' in your second paragraph, to ensure that your arguments are fully understood by a wide audience.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is good for demonstrating task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and outlines your position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The concluding paragraph succinctly summarizes your argument, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: